Trip Guilt
I'm preparing for TNNA by shipping boxes of books out to San Diego, getting my kits together for the Votive class at Unwind and picking out suitable clothing for a warmer climate.
But I'm racked with guilt.
I generally don't spend a lot of time on guilt - I think it's pointless. I figure that if you feel guilty about something, fix it, or apologize, or do what you can to make the situation better. Feeling guilty is a waste of time if it doesn't spur you to action.
Yet here I am, feeling terribly guilty about the room that I booked for my trip. It looks amazing. I am not worthy. THIS is the room I should have. Actually, this is the room I WILL have on Sunday, when the carriage becomes a pumpkin and I need a place to crash before I drive up to LA on Monday.
I find myself at odd times thinking, Just WHO the hell do I think I am? (or as my mother would say, "Who do I think. I am?") My finger was hovering over the Holiday Inn button, but then the siren song of those luxurious marble bathroom counters, the three phones, the down comforter and balcony swept me away. And the room was pretty cheap, relatively. Okay, not cheap at all, but a mere $99 more than the Holiday Inn.
True, it's actually, $99 more than the H.I. per night. I cannot BELIEVE that I did that. Did I DO that? I can't believe I did that!
How about a little more rationalization with my guilt?
The room is only $30 a night more than the other folks I know who are going to TNNA are paying. $30 a night would buy a lot of yarn. I cannot believe that I did that.
I did go to Ikea and buy 10 small area rugs for $2.93 each. I'm sewing them together to make one BIG rug for the basment for $30. There, that takes some of the guilt off...
My New Computer
This might be a good time to mention the powerbook I just bought. WHY am I acting like I won the lottery? It's a refurbish from the same company where my husband bought his laptop last year, expercom.com, it's a very good deal and with the amount of traveling I'm doing this Spring it's really very necessary. I went to the Apple store to check out the powerbooks and ibooks in person - and honestly I had my credit card out and was ready to buy the 12" powerbook, but I couldn't get anyone to wait on me. So I walked. To my car. Then drove home and went online.
But - even as I write this - I just received an order for books from knitpicks that pretty much covers the cost of the room (and part of the room is being covered by my class sponsors, I can't make them pay the whole room fee, that would just be WRONG! I can't believe I booked THAT ROOM!)
Okay, I'm not good at guilt, but I'm a champ at rationalization... My 4th grade teacher was right. I am a excuse maker.
But I'm racked with guilt.
I generally don't spend a lot of time on guilt - I think it's pointless. I figure that if you feel guilty about something, fix it, or apologize, or do what you can to make the situation better. Feeling guilty is a waste of time if it doesn't spur you to action.
Yet here I am, feeling terribly guilty about the room that I booked for my trip. It looks amazing. I am not worthy. THIS is the room I should have. Actually, this is the room I WILL have on Sunday, when the carriage becomes a pumpkin and I need a place to crash before I drive up to LA on Monday.
I find myself at odd times thinking, Just WHO the hell do I think I am? (or as my mother would say, "Who do I think. I am?") My finger was hovering over the Holiday Inn button, but then the siren song of those luxurious marble bathroom counters, the three phones, the down comforter and balcony swept me away. And the room was pretty cheap, relatively. Okay, not cheap at all, but a mere $99 more than the Holiday Inn.
True, it's actually, $99 more than the H.I. per night. I cannot BELIEVE that I did that. Did I DO that? I can't believe I did that!
How about a little more rationalization with my guilt?
The room is only $30 a night more than the other folks I know who are going to TNNA are paying. $30 a night would buy a lot of yarn. I cannot believe that I did that.
I did go to Ikea and buy 10 small area rugs for $2.93 each. I'm sewing them together to make one BIG rug for the basment for $30. There, that takes some of the guilt off...
My New Computer
This might be a good time to mention the powerbook I just bought. WHY am I acting like I won the lottery? It's a refurbish from the same company where my husband bought his laptop last year, expercom.com, it's a very good deal and with the amount of traveling I'm doing this Spring it's really very necessary. I went to the Apple store to check out the powerbooks and ibooks in person - and honestly I had my credit card out and was ready to buy the 12" powerbook, but I couldn't get anyone to wait on me. So I walked. To my car. Then drove home and went online.
But - even as I write this - I just received an order for books from knitpicks that pretty much covers the cost of the room (and part of the room is being covered by my class sponsors, I can't make them pay the whole room fee, that would just be WRONG! I can't believe I booked THAT ROOM!)
Okay, I'm not good at guilt, but I'm a champ at rationalization... My 4th grade teacher was right. I am a excuse maker.
Feed me, baby!
15 Comments:
Annie, you deserve it. I'm fortunate to have seen a glimpse of your life, and you are incredibly hard-working and productive - the room is just for you, the computer is just for you... enjoy them.
The only bad thing about that hotel room is that you may not want to leave at the end. No matter how sweet and cherubic your children at home are, you might just want to curl up in that fabulous furniture and STAY. :) Enjoy! You deserve it.
Annie, enjoy the room--you deserve it!!!
Considering your knit-goddess status I would think you would always stay in places like that. You will see it when you believe it!
You work your ass off and you deserve it.
I told myself this same thing when I upgraded my hotel room, too.
Repeat after me..."It's California, everything there is expensive, and it's a business expense". Breathe. Feel better?
Just don't go all crazy on us and break into the mini-bar.
You travel so much, you deserve to stay somewhere nice. See it as payoff for all the hard work you've put into getting where you are.
Knitting Goddesses do not stay in no-tell motels!
You are the hardest working woman in the business. Call it a celebration of just desserts - how many books do you have in print & under contract?
Think of the little chocolates on the pillow!
(As I bow on my knees to the Knitting Goddess before us all) You should live in the Knitting Palace all year round, so a few days is not even nearly enough. Relax- get some of those packs of mini facial masks and stuff and indulge in a spa session for yourself in the marble bathroom. Just tell us you didn't rent a limo to drive up to LA and you are exonerated from all guilt.
Treat yourself well!
Guilt over $30 extra for a hotel room? Je ne comprende pas. (And I'm not loaded myself)
You will love the room. Its really a lovely hotel, and quite a reasonable rate. And no other hotel is quite so central in San Diego, so that's an added perq.
I haven't booked my room yet due to some room price guilt. By now all that is left probably is Motel 6! The sewing rugs together to make a larger rug thing sounds like the same sort of rationalizations I'm apt to make. I bet that rug will look cool too...
When the truth is you don't need a rationalization. Enjoy! That bed looks delicious!!!
Hope I run into you somewhere between TNNA and Unwind!
For all the great work you do, you deserve a little pampering now and then. Don't think a thing about it. Just enjoy yourself.
~
Thank you so much for the card. I knew who it was from as soon as I saw the cuties on the front.
:)
Annie, you deserve the room!!! Look how sucessful you are now. Splurge!!!
I am excited for you about going to San Diego. I just also told my friend and LYS owner, Nancy Cheung of Nancy's Knits here in Houston to make sure to introduce herself around the Artyarns booth. I keep telling her so much about you and how I knit for you for MWK. She is psyched! Maybe there is a chance for you to visit Houston. Come see Drew and me.
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