A Different Kind of Perfection
Last night was "Back to School" night, we met our kid's teachers and the new principal of Seth Boyden. It didn't go stellar for me (I visited Hannah's teachers, Gerry visited Max's teacher) and I think we may have some decisions to make.
Apparently Hannah's been having a hard time with her homework. They really ramp up the assignments this year, and she's been bad about writing down her assignments and turning them in. When we question her about it she's vague, very odd, and I couldn't quite put it together.
When the parents had settled into the class her teacher talked to us about her own kids (1 in Harvard, 1 on Broadway), then lectured us for almost 20 minutes about how our kids weren't turning in their homework. She said 9 kids hadn't turned in their homework that day. She also mentioned she'd been at Seth Boyden for 15 years. When I looked around I noticed the same expression on all the parent's faces, "She's been doing this for 15 years, she has a kid at Harvard and on Broadway, she must be better at this than I am...
I felt that way, too. As each parent approached her at the end of the session they were very apologetic about their kids, ("Is MY kid a slacker? I heard one parent ask.) When my turn came I told her that we had a very hard time understanding what Hannah was required to do each night - that we looked at her planner, and just couldn't make sense of what Hannah'd written. Sometimes I'd send notes back asking, "What is Hannah supposed to do!" because we're supposed to sign off on the homework, but I can't sign off on something I can't see...
Our exchange wasn't pleasant, and I would have felt like I was insane if it hadn't been for another parent who followed me outside and waited until most other parents went away to mention to me that she felt the same way - just not understanding WHAT our kids are supposed to be doing. Even more confusing, it was written RIGHT ON THE BOARD, yet Hannah hadn't copied it down in her planner, so she didn't do the work.
Gerry joined us and commented that if 9 out of 22 students aren't turning in their work, there's a bigger problem here...
It wasn't until we got home and talked it over with Hannah that the truth came out. Hannah cannot read script, the teacher writes the assignments in script. Words like Social confuse Hannah, and she's not quite there yet. Some of her (really smart) friends read and write script, but not all. My guess is that the 9 kids who didn't do their work are having the same problem Hannah's having - they can't read the board.
She said that she tried to tell the teacher and was ashamed. As she sobbed she said, "Mom, I'm the only kid who can't read script, and I just can't tell her!
I told her that at least one other kid was having a hard time reading the lesson. We're making an appointment to speak with the vice principal (Max's teacher from last year - we adore her) to see what we can do. It's clear that Hannah's become an "issue" for both of her teachers, and I can understand it. She's dramatic, lively, and when she feels she's not doing well she compensates by doing MORE stuff (which can be even more annoying - she wants SO much to do well...) What a frustration for both teacher AND student!
I remember having a hard time with script - AND with telling time! I think I was the last kid in the class to get both down cold, and still have a hard time with silly things like my left & right. My Aunt Wanda had a beauty salon with a hand painted sign my cousin created. It was lovely, in script it said, "Vanity Case Salon" - I swear until I was 10 I thought it said, "Sanity Case Salon" because I always got my V's and S's mixed up. It's funny now, but it was mortifying then.
Jeeze I love these kids so much - when they have a difficulty it just rips my heart out.
Apparently Hannah's been having a hard time with her homework. They really ramp up the assignments this year, and she's been bad about writing down her assignments and turning them in. When we question her about it she's vague, very odd, and I couldn't quite put it together.
When the parents had settled into the class her teacher talked to us about her own kids (1 in Harvard, 1 on Broadway), then lectured us for almost 20 minutes about how our kids weren't turning in their homework. She said 9 kids hadn't turned in their homework that day. She also mentioned she'd been at Seth Boyden for 15 years. When I looked around I noticed the same expression on all the parent's faces, "She's been doing this for 15 years, she has a kid at Harvard and on Broadway, she must be better at this than I am...
I felt that way, too. As each parent approached her at the end of the session they were very apologetic about their kids, ("Is MY kid a slacker? I heard one parent ask.) When my turn came I told her that we had a very hard time understanding what Hannah was required to do each night - that we looked at her planner, and just couldn't make sense of what Hannah'd written. Sometimes I'd send notes back asking, "What is Hannah supposed to do!" because we're supposed to sign off on the homework, but I can't sign off on something I can't see...
Our exchange wasn't pleasant, and I would have felt like I was insane if it hadn't been for another parent who followed me outside and waited until most other parents went away to mention to me that she felt the same way - just not understanding WHAT our kids are supposed to be doing. Even more confusing, it was written RIGHT ON THE BOARD, yet Hannah hadn't copied it down in her planner, so she didn't do the work.
Gerry joined us and commented that if 9 out of 22 students aren't turning in their work, there's a bigger problem here...
It wasn't until we got home and talked it over with Hannah that the truth came out. Hannah cannot read script, the teacher writes the assignments in script. Words like Social confuse Hannah, and she's not quite there yet. Some of her (really smart) friends read and write script, but not all. My guess is that the 9 kids who didn't do their work are having the same problem Hannah's having - they can't read the board.
She said that she tried to tell the teacher and was ashamed. As she sobbed she said, "Mom, I'm the only kid who can't read script, and I just can't tell her!
I told her that at least one other kid was having a hard time reading the lesson. We're making an appointment to speak with the vice principal (Max's teacher from last year - we adore her) to see what we can do. It's clear that Hannah's become an "issue" for both of her teachers, and I can understand it. She's dramatic, lively, and when she feels she's not doing well she compensates by doing MORE stuff (which can be even more annoying - she wants SO much to do well...) What a frustration for both teacher AND student!
I remember having a hard time with script - AND with telling time! I think I was the last kid in the class to get both down cold, and still have a hard time with silly things like my left & right. My Aunt Wanda had a beauty salon with a hand painted sign my cousin created. It was lovely, in script it said, "Vanity Case Salon" - I swear until I was 10 I thought it said, "Sanity Case Salon" because I always got my V's and S's mixed up. It's funny now, but it was mortifying then.
Jeeze I love these kids so much - when they have a difficulty it just rips my heart out.
posted by Annie at
Friday, September 22, 2006
22 Comments:
It took me FOREVER to learn how to tell time on an old analog clock. I think I had a little less trouble with script, but script is NOT something you "just know." You have to learn it.
Sympathies to Hannah.
Sorry to hear your troubles. Dealing with teachers and kids and their perceptions of each other and all that can be exhausting. I hope you can have a reasonable exchange with the vice principal and get it all straightened out. (My reason for being such a big proponent of parent involvement!)
I could not tell time until the end of 4th grade. I currently hold a doctorate in veterinary medicine from the university of pennsylvania. If there are no other problems, don't worry about your daughter. Kids learn these things eventually.
I hope that you can work something out that will help Hannah. Isn't the teacher's job to "teach" and hep where needed. Maybe something like Sylvan Learning Center or something like that would help her. My Niece went to one when she was having problems in school that no one (teachers or parents)could seem to get her to understand. They took her to Sylvan and she is now doing great. I know how it feels to be frustrated like that and ashamed to say something. Hopefully she won't feel like that in the future and will speak to the teacher about it.
Who realy cares that the teacher's kids are in Harvard and on Broadway! So what was she saying? That her kids are better and smarter than yours? That was info that she shouldn't have shared especially then slamming the 9 kids. So she has 15 years of experience, maybe it is time for her to update and learn some new things.
Sorry to rant, but it just bothers me to hear about all the teachers that like to blame the child and the parent for everything.
It is the teacher with the problem. If you have 9 kids who are not turning in their homework, this is a big red flag. And as to her kids being in an Ivy League school and on Broadway, that is just bragging and has no place in the classroom. But it makes you wonder how she is affroding a kid in an Ivy League school on her salary?
And don't worry about the fact that Hannah can not read script writing. I have taken classes on how to teach and the one thing that we were told was to print any thing written up on the chalkboard. It is easier to read. So I hope your talk with the the vice principal goes well. I think that this teacher needs to be reminded a few things.
Annie, Congrats on getting to the heart of the problem. I would think that once the teacher learns that at least one student can't read script well enough to copy down assignments she may switch to printing.
Lots of kids (not just grade school) have trouble getting assignments writen into planners for a variety of reasons.
When my son was in middle school I had a phone number and pin code to dial and the teacher had a recording that listed the day's assignments and stuff like field trip forms are due etc. I called it every night. Both of my kids are in high school now and lots of teachers are putting assignments on their web pages so anyone with Internet access can look it up. It is great for kids who forget, kids who have missed class for sports or illness.
When you speak to the vice-principal you should ask her to have this teacher move into the 21th century and get assignments out there on the Internet where parents can double check what their kids should be doing.
And don't feel bad that Hannah is having this problem. It is a great opportunity to teach her that when she's got a problem like this she can come to her parents and they can help her out.
Congratulations on being an advocate for your child - and doing it in a reasonable way. Teachers are doing a hard job these day but so are parents. You get the gold star for asking HANNAH what the problem was - wonder why the teacher didn't do that.
And then there is the experience issue. Some folks have 15 years experience and some have one year of experience 15 times.
Hmmm, 15 years of teaching is a blessing and a curse. It means 15 years of experiences, but also means she was "taught" how to teach 15 years ago. Often teachers/instructors that do jobs for a long time become numb to littler things and I would say she doesn't even realise that her writing is the problem (as I perceive it is). I am sure she isn't doing it to make it hard for the kids - she probably doesn't even realise.
Hope your Vice Principal can see that and a nice outcome for everyone happens - especially Hannah.
The love of Parents - it almost breaks your heart when you think of the depth of it doesn't it.
15 years of experience - so what? Some of the teachers I had the biggest problems with were the ones that had been there longer than that. There was no real reason for her to talk that way unless she was overcompensating or something.
It's not wrong for you to ask for another teacher, though. My MIL worked and worked until she found the right teachers and school for my hubby when he was young, because when they copped attitude that way, she knew they wouldn't be good for him.
It's not appropriate for the teachers to purposely intimidate that way, and it's no good environment for young people.
When a teacher starts a session with a list of her accomplishments (ie, her own kids), there's an insecurity thing going on. First of all, let's be frank: she's her kids' mom, not their teacher.... And the fact that she lectured the group indicates an even greater problem. SHE should have realized that some of her students were having problems reading script. Obviously, whe needs to be more attentive to the needs of her group. DO see the vice-principal or principal but also DO make an appointment to talk to this teacher again.
A teacher's job it to communicate with the children in her charge...and that just doesn't happen all that often in this day and age! When my Katie was in 2nd grade, her teacher wanted her tested for ADD because she just couldn't pay attention. As it turns out, she was bored silly! She was reading surreptitiously, instead of paying rapt attention to a teacher who was teaching things she already knew! Once she tested into TAG (talented and gifted) she settled right down. But for a whole year, we had a child wounded and in tears because her teacher didn't "like" her! It's enough to make you pull your hair out!
Make sure Hannah knows that this is not her fault! She needs to know that sometimes teachers have problems doing their work, too! :=)
Oh man, I couldn't tell time on an analog clock in high school! I finally made myself learn because I was always embarrassed at not being able to read the clock. Our house only had digital clocks, so I guess that's all I knew. My shameful little secret!
I home school my children and if they learn nothing else, they'll be able to tell time. I mean, hopefully they learn a lot more, but clocks is a must. Also, you can get a lot of knitting done while you wait for them to do their long division.
Our school doesn't require script until halfway through 4th grade. They learn it in 3rd grade, and then starting in 4th they work on it until after Christmas, when they are required to use it to do there work. And the teacher doesn't use it until after Christmas on such important things as homework assignements. My sympathies.. it's hard to watch our kids struggle.
I've been attending university for five years for an Education degree and I can tell you that one of the first practical lessons I learned is that everything should be printed clearly on the chalkboard, not written in script. There are high schoolers that cannot read script well, and many of us have poor handwriting. Your description of this teacher makes me wary of her commitment to her students- teachers accomodate ALL students; even if Hannah were the only student who could not understand script, she should print assignments to accomodate your daughter. To make her feel humilated for asking for assistance is unprofessional and the antithesis of a compassionate educator. I hope your conversation with the principal goes well.
I hope it eases your mind to know that girls have a more difficult time deciphering between left and right, telling time, and reading script. Really. I'm a teacher. Although I teach Art, it's still something I deal with. If she's a right-handed writer, try explaining to Hannah that she "Writes with her right" so when she gets confused she can raise her writing hand and tell herself in her own head, "I write with my right, so this is my right side." For lefties I say, "I learn (lists, log..whatever sounds best) with my Left..." and repeat the same routine. The repetition of the "R's" or the "L's" tends to help them.
And I agree. If that many students didn't show up with work, the teacher should be asking herself, "What did I do to cause this?" Not the other way around. Additionally, if you're doing planners in a classroom, the teacher should be checking them at the beginning of the year, so she/he knows they're being done and copied correctly. You take the time in the beginning so you know you've set them up for success. Once you know they get it/do it, that's when you back off and focus your attention on other areas. It's a no brainer.
I'm sorry Hannah's having trouble but it is great that you finally figured out the problem. I had similar problems in school--it turned out that I just needed glasses but was too embarrassed to say anything to my teacher or mom. What really counts now is that you (and the teacher and admnistrator) make this a positive experience for Hannah so she isn't scared to say something next time she is having trouble. Don't worry, having a mom stick up for you is a great boost for kids.
As for the teacher, she was bragging about her kids but that just means you should hold her to the same standard for the kids she teaches.
Good luck to you and Hannah!
I feel for you- My fourth grader always seems to be the one having problems, and getting to the real cause is always tough. Good job figuring it out. The amount of work put on kids today is out of control. Hope your meeting with the VP goes well. Good Luck!
The teacher, especially in the beginning of the year, should be checking the homework planners to make sure the kids are copying the assignments. She should also verbally go over the assignment to make sure the kids are getting it.
Go Hannah!
When my son started to show signs of "struggle" in school, a wise friend opened my eyes to the schools responsibilities.
She recommended that I go to the School District main Office and ask for a "referral" form. An easy form to fill out that lists your child learning style and current concerns.
The school district is then obligated to review students academic achievement, and make a plan within 30 days to do academic testing and meet with parents/teachers to develop a plan. Later you might end up with an IEP- Individual Educational Plan that lists specific goals for your student.
Before we filled out the "referral" form......nothing happened, lots of talk, but nobody was accountable.
It has been my experience that the schools have many students to serve, many wonderful teachers, but there are students who fall through the cracks.
The trick in this whole process if to keep emotions to a minimum, which is hard, hard, hard to do.
A great web-site for Educational issues and the childs/parents legal rights is Wrightslaw.com.
Good luck!
I moved a lot as a kid and although I learned script in England, it's different than how they write in the States. I didn't learn how to read or write the script they use in the US until a kind English teacher taught me in 11th grade. Yup, 11th grade. I was a good guesser by that time, though. My technique was to skip the words I couldn't figure out and even I didn't realize I was missing out. I also didn't tell time or know how to say numbers over 1,000 until high school. I'm still better at one-two-zero-zero-one than 12,001. And I have one and a half master's degrees!
Annie, not that it matters now, but...did you walk early as a baby?? Kids who didn't get alot of crawling time have trouble with left/right, and letter/number recognition. d/b p/b etc. I have a friend who is very bright, but if you spell something outloud to her, she can't make a word from it in her head, it has to be written out then read visually. Something about crawling, working left leg with right arm, then switching establishes neuro-pathways that we use for the rest of our lives. If that opportunity is lost, it can mean a real struggle. But once that area is identified, you know where to concentrate the effort. One thing that really helps is making things BIGGER for children while they are learning. If you have a printer that can enlarge, utilize it while your daughter is learning cursive. We used one to enlarge my son's music when he took violin lessons. The music was so small, what were they thinking?? These are young children...pretty soon every one was doing it. What a differnce it made for the kids. Why struggle to read the music? it's hard enough to get your fingers to do what you want them to do. Good luck, I remember it being very painful when my beautiful, brilliant child didn't fit perfectly into the public school mold. I was told, "He's not like the other kids in his class." I refrained from saying, "Oh, you mean a brat?" And I asked that they just let him be HIM, because we liked him the way he was, and didn't want him like "all the other kids in his class." Oh, dear, I sound like I am still bitter, don't I...I guess I am. But I think we need to accept our children for who they are, and value and validate them and their unique gifts. Hope this is helpful to some one. BTW, my son is 23 now, and is fine and happy.
one of my kids says he didn't understand why he was taught printing if they were to simply turn around and teach script. the other,daughter, says she thought she was never to print again.
it's ok hanna , honey, you aren't the only one.
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