Sunday, April 20, 2008


Geeze am I tired!

We had SUCH a lovely time last night - the seder was abbreviated, but nice (I'm sure our guests didn't think it was abbreviated) In comparison to a hard-core seder it was like a 30 second ad spot vs. a half hour informercial.

The timing is the hard thing - the whole dinner starts with readings from the Haggadah, then the ritual meal is served in a specific order (seder means order) and at a specified time the REAL dinner can be served.

Keeping the hot stuff hot and the cool stuff cool is the hard part - but we did it! I think I was most proud of the matzo ball soup - it was REALLY good! I hadn't made soup before that was so tasty, so I was so glad that I had an audience to appreciate it. Yay!

We invited two families over who each brought a child (a friend for Max, a friend for Hannah - unplanned but perfect) We scooted the table over to the window seat and had the kids sit there so we'd have enough chairs for the adults. Improvisation.

The women in the kitchen dance was what made the dinner a success - I couldn't have gotten everything in and out, and on and off, the table by myself. I mentioned to one friend how I'd missed that 'clearing the table' ritual of friends over for dinner, it's been SO long since we'd entertained.

And as exhausted as we both were last night - AND this morning - I think I understand WHY it is that we don't entertain more often. I barely dragged my sorry self out of bed at 10:30, Gerry was downstairs at noon. Something we haven't done much at all - this sleeping in thing - and it was most enjoyable!

I was SO surprised by a gift from my friend London last night - a lovely alpaca shrug that she'd dyed and knit herself. It's really wonderful - and perfect for the chilly evenings when my neck and shoulders are a little too cool but I need full mobility for my arms. THANK YOU, LONDON!

Today St. Paul is more beautiful than I've seen it this year, so Max and I are going to bike over to Creative Kidstuff to get a birthday gift for a friend, then Gerry will bike him over to his friend's party (which is just a few blocks away) while I run off to knit with some friends! Woo!

I've been working on a book based on our experiences over the past year. I've had the idea for a while, but it crystalized a few months ago when I was talking to another Multiple Myeloma spouse (wife) and we both confessed to feeling SO alone. Then as I was reading some MM blogs (and other cancer blogs) the same feeling floated up to the top of my mind; the spouses are SO alone.

There's no way to compare pain, and whether one is facing mortality themselves, facing it for a child or a spouse, it's PAIN and pain makes us draw up into ourselves. I'm hoping this book will allow someone, somewhere, to feel a little less alone in this whole experience. The blog has done that for me, but not everyone has the luxury of a blog (or the type of personality that would want to write one!)

The book will be mostly re-edited blog entries, with some extra exposition explaining certain experiences better. Yeah, not very original, but portable!

Editing the blog entries from this past year has been a journey. This reliving what we've been through was something I didn't want to take on until Gerry'd reached a point where he was more his 'old self.' Riding the bike this past week was that point for me.

I'm proud of him, obviously scared, but I feel we've reached a good plateau in this disease and we'll coast as long as we can. So this feels like a good time to compile the record of a year from hell, and a year in heaven.

A good friend - the friend who gave me the massage in Denver - sent me this great stitch-picker-upper. She sells them at Etsy, and it wasn't until I saw it in person that I realized how GREAT it is. This will definitely be on my keychain (my caribou-ooner from Caribou Coffee) from now on!

And boy, after the non-kosher-for-Passover elements in my seder was THIS ever appreciated!

Maybe I can be a triple threat - a heretic in every main religion? Now THAT'S something to which to aspire...

But at least I have this to keep me focused on my heretical tendencies. And in addition to picking up stitches I can do some impromptu teeny, tiny crochet while waiting in doctors offices, too!
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posted by Annie at


Blogger Gina Black said...

Love the crochet hook/key chain. I ordered two. What a clever idea!

Also, that's a lovely shrug.

Glad you had a great Passover. We . . . um . . . had sushi.

April 20, 2008 4:20 PM  
Blogger janna said...

I think writing a book about your experience with Gerry's illness is a wonderful idea! I feel like I've learned a lot from reading them on your blog, but you know that many people who would appreciate your experience -- who NEED to hear your story -- aren't finding this knitting blog! ;-)

April 20, 2008 11:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wanted to lend support regarding your book. I came to your blog for the knitting, and had no idea that I would be so drawn in by the frankness and grace with which you have approached dealing with illness in your life. Best to you, Dana

April 21, 2008 11:42 AM  
Blogger cathyannhenry said...

Funny, I came to your blog because of Gerry's illness, but have also fallen in love with all of the knitting stuff, too.

I would definitely buy your book about your experiences dealing with Gerry's illness. Keep us posted.

April 21, 2008 12:04 PM  
Anonymous eshannon said...


I love your book idea. Annonymous is absolutely right it is your frankness and grace and I will add your humor that would help so many people.

Lots of Love,

April 21, 2008 12:28 PM  
Blogger Mommio said...

Is it a short version of the Shalom cardi? Cute idea.

April 21, 2008 12:52 PM  
Anonymous Rosie said...

Hi Annie, A great book idea. My husband's cousin is dealing with the same illness as Gerry. I would deffinetly buy it. So glad that you had a wonderful passover. I known the feeling of how tired you can get after a celerbration. Rosie

April 21, 2008 1:25 PM  
Blogger Linda said...

while I am dealing with lymphoma not the illness your husband is dealing with, your thoughts have made me aware of how my illness is affecting my husband and children. Thanks for the help this past year, I was diagnosed in Feb. 2007.

April 21, 2008 2:55 PM  
Blogger london said...

yes, it is the shalom cardi! it became a shrug when i ran out of yarn. it looks SO cute on annie.

April 21, 2008 4:25 PM  
Blogger Roobeedoo said...

A book would be greatly appreciated. So few people know about this illness and we spouses have nowhere much to turn - other than the blogs - and many spouses are of a generation that doesn't "do" the internet. Thanks!

April 22, 2008 3:46 AM  
Anonymous wowyoucandothat said...

Oh, oh, oh, will there be an application for Heretics of All Religions? I'd like to apply for the Pagan Heretic. That would be cool to have a Heretic of Religions group.

April 22, 2008 10:59 AM  
Blogger Alyson said...

Blue Moon! My favorite beer! The only thing I like better, is my hubby's homebrew Belgian White. You visit Seattle any time soon and I'll share.

April 22, 2008 2:06 PM  

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