Humor, Me
In case you have never met me, or haven't taken a class from me, allow me to explain that I use HUMOR to teach.
I tell jokes. I make fun of a lot of things in my classes including myself and sometimes - if a student is up for it (and only if a student is up for it) I will include them in the joke and poke fun at them, too.
In this case apparently a woman who I had shepherded - spending a lot of extra time with her - through three of the four classes, became upset after the forth class. This same student made a point of telling me after Saturday's classes how grateful she was that I'd taken so much extra time with her during the classes that day.
On Sunday, in the last 17 minutes of class, I was firm with this student (and a few others) because she - they - needed to be told, firmly, that they COULD do a seemingly complex technique and it was important that I get their hands to move in the correct way at least once so they could go home with the muscle memory.
I was not mean, I did not yell, but I was firm.
Yes, sometimes I push students in a class, and sometimes I back off. If students talk in class, I ask them to be quiet. If students rip out, I ask them not to again. If students insist that they can't do something, I try several different ways (prodding, joking, pushing, pulling) to get them to a place where they can see that they will eventually get the concept.
If you don't want to grow, don't take a class with me. I will make you a better knitter - a more intuitive knitter - but I may push you.
As with any teacher, I may not suit every student. Luckily, you have my blog to get a taste for my sense of humor and my teaching style before you take a class with me.
This class in KC was one of the hardest to "read" in my teaching career. I think I've only had two other classes in my life that were this difficult to read. Folks who I felt were having a horrid time told me later they had a blast, and folks I thought had a blast emailed me later that they were sorry they took the class. Go figure. I rarely have such a hard time "reading" classes like this, but it's all part of the learning curve that teachers go through, too.
I try to read different classes so I have an idea of how far I can go with certain jokes, and in this case apparently my jokes (which were so mild compared to my usual 'material') were too much for some students.
The email that had upset me so greatly yesterday - and, for whatever reason, it just skinned me from the inside out - was from someone who I had been very supportive of in class. Then she sent me an email that I wouldn't have sent my worst enemy. Some days you just can't win.
At certain times in certain classes I joke - yes JOKE - about "Class isn't really fun unless I get one person to cry, that's all I ask ..."
I have found that jokes like this are a good way to get people to laugh. They laugh because it's absurd, because it's not true. They laugh because I deliver it in a "Doctor Evil" voice.
They know it's not true, so it's funny.
I told this same joke in each class this weekend and guess what? People laughed. A lot.
Are we going to politically correct ourselves out of having ANY fun? Will I have to start saying in class, "Lighten up or I'll hit you with my knitting needle!?"
Oh, that was a joke...
To hear such an absurd comment - a joke - and think that it is in any way SERIOUS shows a want of perspective.
What seems to have happened was that a student was offended because I was firm with her, and she was even more upset because I was firm with the student next to her. So after stewing about it she used the fact that I'd joked about students crying to write me an email which was one of the cruelest I've received, insinuating that I really DID want to make my students cry.
Now THAT was an email that was definitely sent with the intention of making someone cry.
Ellen wrote: "What if it is that you are just so worn to the nub that an email you might have let slide off your back a year and a half ago has given you a worse time than it typically would?"
That's definitely a possibility. This was pretty raw, though.
I tell jokes. I make fun of a lot of things in my classes including myself and sometimes - if a student is up for it (and only if a student is up for it) I will include them in the joke and poke fun at them, too.
In this case apparently a woman who I had shepherded - spending a lot of extra time with her - through three of the four classes, became upset after the forth class. This same student made a point of telling me after Saturday's classes how grateful she was that I'd taken so much extra time with her during the classes that day.
On Sunday, in the last 17 minutes of class, I was firm with this student (and a few others) because she - they - needed to be told, firmly, that they COULD do a seemingly complex technique and it was important that I get their hands to move in the correct way at least once so they could go home with the muscle memory.
I was not mean, I did not yell, but I was firm.
Yes, sometimes I push students in a class, and sometimes I back off. If students talk in class, I ask them to be quiet. If students rip out, I ask them not to again. If students insist that they can't do something, I try several different ways (prodding, joking, pushing, pulling) to get them to a place where they can see that they will eventually get the concept.
If you don't want to grow, don't take a class with me. I will make you a better knitter - a more intuitive knitter - but I may push you.
As with any teacher, I may not suit every student. Luckily, you have my blog to get a taste for my sense of humor and my teaching style before you take a class with me.
This class in KC was one of the hardest to "read" in my teaching career. I think I've only had two other classes in my life that were this difficult to read. Folks who I felt were having a horrid time told me later they had a blast, and folks I thought had a blast emailed me later that they were sorry they took the class. Go figure. I rarely have such a hard time "reading" classes like this, but it's all part of the learning curve that teachers go through, too.
I try to read different classes so I have an idea of how far I can go with certain jokes, and in this case apparently my jokes (which were so mild compared to my usual 'material') were too much for some students.
The email that had upset me so greatly yesterday - and, for whatever reason, it just skinned me from the inside out - was from someone who I had been very supportive of in class. Then she sent me an email that I wouldn't have sent my worst enemy. Some days you just can't win.
At certain times in certain classes I joke - yes JOKE - about "Class isn't really fun unless I get one person to cry, that's all I ask ..."
I have found that jokes like this are a good way to get people to laugh. They laugh because it's absurd, because it's not true. They laugh because I deliver it in a "Doctor Evil" voice.
They know it's not true, so it's funny.
I told this same joke in each class this weekend and guess what? People laughed. A lot.
Are we going to politically correct ourselves out of having ANY fun? Will I have to start saying in class, "Lighten up or I'll hit you with my knitting needle!?"
Oh, that was a joke...
To hear such an absurd comment - a joke - and think that it is in any way SERIOUS shows a want of perspective.
What seems to have happened was that a student was offended because I was firm with her, and she was even more upset because I was firm with the student next to her. So after stewing about it she used the fact that I'd joked about students crying to write me an email which was one of the cruelest I've received, insinuating that I really DID want to make my students cry.
Now THAT was an email that was definitely sent with the intention of making someone cry.
Ellen wrote: "What if it is that you are just so worn to the nub that an email you might have let slide off your back a year and a half ago has given you a worse time than it typically would?"
That's definitely a possibility. This was pretty raw, though.
Feed me, baby!
42 Comments:
Hi Annie,
I missed Sunday's post, so this comment applies to both: One person was upset. But how many thousands of us have taken a class with you and just love you! Count me as one on the many. Louise, also known as Grammilou P.S. We really admire the way you respond to the trials of life, and also share the joys with us. You are a friend I meet via your blog every day.
I teach college locally, and I find the same problem sometimes. I have a similar, rather sarcastic sense of humor, and I can be rather firm with my students if I feel they haven't listened to my REPEATED warnings about something. That results in people thinking I'm intimidating..trust me, I'm not. But I still have plenty of students who appreciate my "style" in the classroom- the majority in fact. So I say, be who you are. You know the truth about who that is better than anyone.
Having taken all of one class from you, I am hardly an expert, but my impression is that you are strong teacher. Or rather, a person with a definite personality, who teaches. You are not a wishy-washy, hold-my-hand, whatever-the-students-do-is-fine kind of teacher. You expect something from your students. You expect them to work and to learn.
In *real* school, this is the kind of teacher that makes students grow, makes them accomplish more than they perhaps thought they could. This kind of teacher ROCKS!
But in a *fun* class, this kind of teacher may perhaps be more than some students are expecting. They have not made the commitment to learn that is needed. They came to have a little fun, and only incidentally to learn something. You came To Teach. Expectations did not match.
imho, you are the kind of teacher I would take ANY class from, no matter what you were teaching. I would go into the class knowing that I would learn; that I would get my money's worth and probably more. But I am not a fragile person, and I can take the humor you give out. Not everyone can.
All this is to say, Annie, that you are GREAT, but not every teacher is perfect for every student. Unfortunately, a student who didn't match up with you decided to take it out on you in an email, and that was wrong of her/him. We have all taken classes where the teacher didn't match our particular style, but the rest of us just chalked it up to experience and moved on. Apparently not everyone is capable of that minimal level of maturity.
Oh Annie, I'm so sorry that this troublesome thing has happened. (Just now have read the posts and comments for the last two days.....)
I, along with many *know* that you don't have a mean bone in your body; the fact is that you didn't Give offense, but she Took it. She needs to own these feelings and deal with it and you need to Not take on her 'stuff!' You know the intent of your own heart/mind. There. I'm done giving advice, and anyway everyone else has weighed in with great thoughts about this.
Oh....one more thought, please, and that is why not wait awhile before making any big decisions about teaching/not teaching? It can't hurt to just let that issue be for awhile, even a week or two. Time itself will lend its perspective to what you choose to do.
Please forgive if this is too pushy...lol. We all respect and care about you very much, Annie!
Oh, for pete's sake. Anyone who takes a class from you should know who you are by now. There are similar over-sensitivities happening on a few of the lists at the moment. I say don't let the few oversensitive nutballs wreck it for the rest of us.
Perhaps notices for your classes should begin: "This is a class taught by Annie M. You have been WARNED!"
While I havenÕt had the privilege of meeting you and taking one of your classes, I certainly enjoy reading your blog and I admire your designs and skill in creating them. IÕve found that teaching adults new ideas or techniques on any topic can be difficult at best, and making teaching the focus of your work isnÕt as easy as many probably think. Anyway, here is a link to a column written by Stephen Wilbers and published in the Mpls. paper this morning. After reading it this evening and then reading your blog entry, I thought that it might ease your mind and maybe even make you smile. You arenÕt alone in Òreading the studentsÓ. Hang in there and donÕt let a few negative comments tear you apart. Hope to take a class from you some time.
http://www.startribune.com/business/19021924.html?location_refer=$sectionName
I teach writing to college kids and humor is largely the way to go there too. Sometimes, it's a no-go and, as hard as it can be, you've got to let it roll off your back. Sometimes students can have the world sitting on their heads and they just plain forget that you are a human too--a human trying to figure out how to best teach them, not some teacherbot with perfect abilities there to flaunt your proverbial stuff. Usually, given a chance they'll jump at a fresh start. Sometimes you just can't offer a fresh start and you've just got to let yourself remember that they're human, you're human, and that it will sort out in the end.
I spent a lot of time previously doing group work with a variety of people and from experience I know that there are often some very needy people who take classes in order to get the attention they crave. That could explain why your attendee was happy to be shepherded for so long and only seemed to get upset when you made her do things by herself and she had 'lost' your attention.
Also it is real cowardice to complain in a hurtful email about somethng that could have been resolved in person at the time.
Note from Annie:
I turned on comment moderation for 2 reasons: 1) I didn't want to host any comments that were hurtful to me. and 2) I didn't want to host any comments that were hurtful to anyone else.
The supportive comments have been overwhelming, and I appreciate them. I haven't released most of them because they also contain strong points of view which I felt might be more incendiary than I can handle right now.
Honest, thoughtful assessments of my teaching - even if unflattering to me - will be released. Attacks on any one (me or an unnamed student) won't be.
Overall the students in the classes I taught were fabulous, if difficult to read. That inability was my ow failing. I don't want to host comments that might assign that failure to the students.
But I do appreciate the solidarity - thanks so much! I'll turn comments on again when I'm feeling less fragile.
Annie
What a shame that this has made you feel so bad-- I've never taken one of your classes, but I can tell from your blog that you love to teach. Don't let one unhappy student make you forget the hundreds (thousands?) of delighted ones.
It really is bad that we allow 1 person to ruin a day, week, month for us. I own my own business - consignment shop. People truly believe that their used clothes are spun from pure gold sometimes. 99.9% of my consignors are truly wonderful and fun but its that 1% that can make you ask why you do it sometimes.
Please remember that you are a truly wonderful and gifted person that is able to teach with humor and passion. Don't ever let that 1% get you down for more than 1 second. Though it is hard to remember when licking our wounds that there are the other 99.9% that are out there cheering for you and supporting you!
As for the 1% proably anything you did would be considered offensive to them. It must be very lonely up there on that pedestal all by themselves. As for me I would rather party with the crowd.
keep on keeping on!!
MaryBeth
I've been teaching part-time and conducting professional development workshops for, I'm astonished to say it, seventeen years. Over that time I've touched more students in a positive way, just like you, than negative. When I've received a particularly nasty, negative comment, I usually just respond to the sender "Thank you for your opinion. Fortunately, most of your classmates expressed quite different opinions." That usually makes me feel better, and isn't very inflammatory.
One thing you might consider for the future, is creating a "feedback/evaluation" form that you have students fill out before they leave. You will get, for the most part, useful feedback, and even though the participants don't have to reveal their names it a lot harder to be mean, than in a faceless electronic format. People seem to be more civil with their constructive criticism.
Just food for thought.
I have never taken a class from you either, but, maybe one day if I am lucky ;).... Anyway,some people are just more sensitive than others, perhaps this particular student was going through some kind of bad stuff and just couldn't turn it off and maybe everything seemed to effect her that way.Perhaps other folks got a nasty email from her also, you just don't about know it!
Not your fault or under your control, she just was not aware of the situation as she should or could have been.
Wow. I agree with other posts - these people should have known who they were taking a class from *grin*. You have a wonderfully strong personality. Look at your life - its amazing - YOU ROCK! And thank you for sharing your bits of life with us all.
P.S.....any thoughts of returning to Portland Oregon for a smallish class? :)
Annie - I'm a retired teacher registered for PurlJam in June and remember classes that don't click. In denial about arthritis, I need to learn a better way to knit. Having received horrible e-mails, please put them behind you. Reread the really supportive e-mails to counteract them.
Annie said;
I'll turn comments on again when I'm feeling less fragile."
Please, be patient with that student.. For whatever reason, SHE was "fragile", she felt hurt by you, like you are hurting now about her comment.
I'm not saying she was right to write a nasty email to you but she has no public like you on this blog to vent..
Like several of the other people who posted, I too teach writing at a university where I am a doctoral student. That said, I am a new teacher. This last year was my first. I had a very rough day with one of my classes this spring. The kind of day that left me feeling like you did after this class, Annie.
I felt deflated and feeling like a failure. After receiving some suggestions from colleagues, I decided to discuss my feelings with my students. They responded beautifully. I felt so much better.
I know we can't always ask our students what they're thinking, and I know we can't always prevent these kinds of days; though I wish we could.
From one teacher to another, please don't feel that it is all your fault. Sometimes we have a bad day, and we don't vibe with our students. Chin up!
Annie..I had the "honor" of learning to knit from you...in your dining room in Jersey. Every Saturday for a few months I drove almost 45 mins for your class. I was going through a tough time in my life...and those classes helped me in ways you will never know. You pushed me....you helped me...and you made me love to knit. Please don't let this person make you doubt yourself. You are an amazing teacher...and person...please don't lose sight of that.
I have followed our blog all this time...and I admire many things about you...your strength, humor, talent and courage. Please don't let this person take that from you. Whatever this person said to you was THEIR OPINION. Remember that....this too will pass.
Annie,
In my hunmble opinion teaching might be TOO much for you right now.
When people are struggling to get through the difficulties (with a smile nevertheless) that life can challenge us with, it can deplete our reserves so that there is nothing left.
I am sure that you had the best interest of your students at heart, but I can see how under stress you might have come across as "prickly".
I am on your side, but it might be time to circle your wagons around the campfire until the storm passes.
I totally get it if you don't post this, but please save your energy for those gorgeous children.
Hi Annie -- Hugs! I teach high school and experience serious, irrational emo behavior from students weekly. I know that one of my flaws is accentuating the negative and eliminating the positive. IMHO you should let yourself feel badly (sounds like you've done that), then accentuate the positive and really take to heart what 99.99999% of your community knows -- you rock!
I think it is time for some Turtle Cake and knitting. Waddayasay?
Dear Annie,
How awful. I can't remember if you are from the midwest (I seem to remember the eastern midwest, like Ohio?) but in my humble experience folks out here in the MW don't have the same sense of humor that us "easterners" (I'm from the east coast) or the "westerners" have - they're way, way more sensitive to slights, but also way more apt to lash out viciously and defensively when they feel hurt. Be like a duck, and let the hurtful comments roll off your back like water. You are a terrific teacher, I've learned so much from your workshops, and your patterns. Not all teachers appeal to everyone, and in my opinion if someone doesn't find a teacher to her/his liking, they should go find another. Keep up your great work, and, as they used to say, "Don't let the turkeys get you down."
Annie -- I've never taken a class from you, but this seems like a good chance to say thank you for help you gave me a couple of years ago with the Sideways Spencer as published in IK. I was working on it to tone down the hideous bridesmaid dress I had to wear to my brother's wedding, so when I couldn't figure out the sleeve instructions, I was panicky. I emailed you without really expecting an answer. But, the next day, you sent me a beautifully clear, concise, easy to understand set of instructions. I was so impressed and grateful that you took the time to email me. It was like getting email from a rockstar! And your design turned out incredible -- totally made the dress wearable, which saved that day for me.
See how you have a lovely, positive influence on all sorts of people you've never even met? And that's pretty much the coolest way to live a life that I can think of.
Being creative in a public forum means to be vulnerable, and earning your living in an intimate way is not easy. So, kudos to you for making it work and keeping at it.
Oh, and knowing you're the kind of teacher that actually wants her students to learn makes me want to take your class the next time you're in the Bay Area. I wish more teachers had your attitude!
Generally, I find that nasty e-mails, comments, etc. are more about what is happening in the writer's life than anything I (or you) did.
If it makes you feel any better, if ever I am so lucky as to take a class from you (that would be a dream come true), I will be happy to be both pushed and the butt of any joke you care to share. Although I freely confess that I will also probably be one of those students that you will need to hush from time to time.
Living in Denmark I have never met you or attended a class with you. I know though that nobody can please everybody all the time. Nobody should write nasty emails, critisism yes - but everything can be written in a positive and polite way. Also I wonder, if the person writing the email was the unhappy with your teaching, why did she not say anything while the lectures were on. Fear from being contradicted from the other participants? I mean an email afterwards had really no meaning - as that was too late to change anything in the given lectures.....
Go on - enjoy your teaching - and let all the happy people enjoy, that you do exactly what you do.
Silje
Hey Annie, Having taken my first class from you a couple of months ago in Mystic CT, I just want you to know, what you taught, and more importantly, the WAY you taught it (humor, toughness, totally being yourself) still stays with me. My new buddy I met who invited me to the local SnB and I mention that day in Mystic all the time. I have a business/life coach, and believe me, there are times when I have cried, and I'm grateful for each and every one, because she calls forth my excellence... you call forth excellence in yourself and your students, and my "coaching" to you is to SHAKE IT OFF and stay connected to the value you bring every day to your family and your students. You are loved!
Claudia
ya know! i gotta say if those types of thinga offend folks they probably shouldn't come ANYWHERE near us when we hang out annie!!
:-)
Annie, don't let the trolls get you down. Look at the number of individual students you have taught throughout your career and compare it to the number of students who have had their little psyches bent out of shape. Pretty miniscule, huh? You cannot be all things to all people, nor should you aspire to be for then you would be totally boring and unsuccessful at teaching anybody anything.
Someday, if I'm lucky, I shall take a class from you and if I cry it will be because you have shown enough care for me to teach me, especially when I'm having a hard time learning.
hugs to you and yours
I can only imagine how hurt and blindsided you must feel, but to not teach because of this one person/class doesn't seem like a solution. If you feel you must withdraw to recoup that's one thing, but to stop teaching totally would be to hand that individual too much power and deprive the rest of your would-be students of a wonderful experience and the benefit of your knowledge.
Hi Annie, I took your class in Tulsa about a year and a half ago--and I keep hoping that you will get to come back--I REALLY thought about going to KC for your class BUT my daughter was graduating from high school last weekend and I HAD to go to that!! (It was a tough choice but you know how family usually will win in a case like that!!!). I marval at all you do--I too had stones that I was using in my yard and after I moved quite a few of them I hurt my shoulder to the point I couldn't knit--That was AWFUL and I still can't knit as much as I want to as it starts hurting!! So I was amazed that you were moving stones, taking care of your family AND teaching too AND I'm sure designing--no wonder you are feeling a bit ragged. I have to feel that you must be feeling a bit tired yourself and need some "me" time and that if you were "running on all cylinders" as my father always said you wouldn't perhaps have taken that icky comment so much to heart, although icky comments always hurt. And I have to also think that if you get right back on that horse and ride it again you will perk right back up (but you probably still need some time off for yourself so please try to work some time off for good behavior in there too. So...hopefully I will get to have another class with you sometime in the future and I'm willing to travel to take it and it sounds like most of your past pupils are too. So buck up Annie, and get on that horse and RIDE--or maybe teach it a new trick!! Roz
i hope to be lucky enough someday take one of your classes.
you are sooo talented and a true artist.
chin up, feet up and enjoy a drink.
you deserve it!
Don't forget: When you let the idiots get to you, THEY WIN!
I've learned through working with the public for many years that some people are committed to having a bad experience. It's very strange indeed. I'd like to think that knitters are above this- but no we are a cross section of humanity. I've been the recipient of feedback like you are describing in my career. It really does not feel good. Keep up your humor. Humor is what gets us through tough times and what makes good times all the sweeter. Love your blog, love your designs and hopefully someday I will be LUCKY enough to love one of your classes.
Don't be anxious to think it's your fault. I always tend to blame myself too, and you know, sometimes it's them.
Sometimes you just can't win, Annie. I remember teaching a few years ago at an establishment that *did* ask students to fill out evaluation forms. They would total them up and send you the comments, typed up, with your check.
During one of the classes, a few students asked how one becomes a designer and more specifically, how I'd become a designer / what my background is. Half the comments on the form? "Teacher talked too much about herself." The other half? "We wanted her to talk more about becoming a designer."
Again...sometimes you just can't win. xoxoxox
Hmm I so wish I could take one of your classes. I like to be pushed and extended.
From the above posts you are a great teacher. But all great teachers will be pushing the boundaries and you can't push without someone pushing back from time to time. More fool them!
Don't give up... you are too good for that.
By the way congratulations... have just received the email from Knitting daily with your collection.. I hope you are getting a fair renumeration?
Cheers
My favorte professors in college were the ones who pushed me, who challenged me to look at the familiar in a different way, they caused me much angst and late nights. I shed tears, and at times threw various office supplies in frustration, but thanks to them I am a better person.
I am anxioulsy looking forward to the day when I will be able to take a class with you. It's easy to get into a knitting rut, I look forward to someone pushing (I may go kicking and screaming) me out of mine.
And when it's all done, we could have a beer and talk about NJ and standard poodles. (I'm originally from SH and grew up with standards).
Wow. I never cease to be amazed by the people who think that because they pay for a service/experience/whatever, they have also bought the right to be downright rude. That includes me, but I like to think that a little bit of aging on my part has taught me to get a grip -- and to be kinder and more realistic about WHY I chose to pay for a service or experience or whatever. Taking it out on the provider of the service, experience or whatever is just childish.
If you're taking a little downtime, and given that this is your CAREER, you should weigh the pros and cons very carefully, read the essay by "Professor X" in the new Atlantic Monthly. This person is a college professor who teaches both undergrads and night school -- and recounts the ethical nightmare of teaching someone who has missed all of the high school lessons on how to research and write a paper. That student felt that because she paid the tuition and fees and because she needs the degree to advance her career, she was entitled to a passing grade, instead of the failing grade she earned. The professor's question: "What should you do in such a situation?" I think the essay will show you that "knitting student from KC" is nothing to worry about.
Every so often, I get some nasty message about a story I've put together, and I usually count to 24 hours (HA!) before responding to the writer or caller. I take the time to answer their concern with reason and logic, and that answer, combined with the fact that I actually responded, usually stuns the person into realizing that there's a human being inside the "journalist" who's just trying to do the best she can. Of course I want people to let me know if I'm correctly understanding the world I report on -- but I don't want to be accused of having nefarious motives, or having no clue, or both. I just want to do a job I love -- and I make sure the writer/caller understands that. At the end, I usually have a new ally who is invested in my work, and that is satisfying.
To paraphrase a much wiser person on this board and U2, "don't let the bastards grind you down!"
PS -- I need to finish Glenda. I promise. I'm down to the button ribbing trim!
As a proud, grateful and humble "graduate" of one of your workshops, I beg that you not let this isolated incident bring you down. Yes, you do push, but it is never to the extent that someone cannot take. I enjoyed the "push", because I am a knitter who does doubt my skills, and having a teacher like you, who won't accept that as an excuse, is truly amazing and inspiring.
If you're ever in my neighborhood again, I will be signing up for everything I can. Love to you, Annie. You're better than this. You're above this. Please don't let hundreds of knitters miss out on your magic!
Oh Annie! It's such a shame that one or two people have to ruin such a great thing. People in general are insecure. You are NOT insecure and that scares those that are. I've met you, I get your humor and I would love for you to figure out how to push me if I was taking a class from you. People have to get outside their comfort zone sometimes, in order to learn and to grow. I applaud you for doing this, with humor, with tact, and ok with a little force. So what?
Keep on doing what you do, there are more supporters than not!
Best wishes, and huge hugs!!
I'm a college prof, and I've had similar experiences - someone I helped along, someone I thought was "getting it," then comes back and sends a nasty e-mail or calls me on the phone and chews me out.
And you know, to me, I think it bugs me because I have that feeling of, "Wow, I really misread that person!" I'm not good at "reading" people as it is so it's kind of upsetting to me to think things are going "well" and to find out that they are not.
I also agree with Linda; there are some people who just seem committed to being miserable and it's not you, it's them. I've seen it happen. I've seen two people walk out of my classes; one going "Wow, I learned so much! Everything was so well organized. That class was so neat!" and the other going "Oh, man, she expected WAY too much of us, there was too much work, there were too many boring facts, there were too many case studies"
One thing I'm learning about teaching - when things go well, it's not 100% to the teacher's credit, but when they go badly, it's also not 100% the teacher's fault. Teaching's a two-way street and if students don't choose to try or at least to be "good sports," there's a limit to how much the person at the front of the room can do for them. (The old horse-to-water saying is very true)
She should thank her lucky stars that she's not one of my students; I teach people to SING for goodness sakes..
Where is she? I'll go find her and rough her up for you. :o)
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