Worry

Worry is haunting me, and it has NO business being here. Begone, worry! I will fight you with the tremendous power of crochet hook and knitting needle!

First, Gerry definitely has shingles, the rash has made it's appearance. Ouch. The doctor said there's nothing to do but keep taking the anti viral, but it seems good that we jumped on it as quickly as we did.

One fellow in the MM support group we go to suggested coconut oil. Gerry visited Mississippi Market (our local coop) and was advised by a nice woman there to mix coconut oil, agave and a little cocoa powder for a wonderful spread-on-crackers treat. Gerry feels he's getting a roll around the middle, but he's still painfully thin to me - so EAT UP Mr. Landy!

My back is very painful. Apparently I sprained it by wrangling all that stone last Friday, then standing all day on Sunday didn't help. So I visited our local chiro (finally!) and I really liked him a lot. He helped me quite a bit, explained where the problem was (it's a good sign when the chiro can tell you exactly what pain you've been having - and he's RIGHT!)

After an adjustment and some electronic pain treatment I felt much better. I am now wearing a belt to hold my pelvic bones together and trying to rest as much as possible. Knitting while reclining is not easy. I see him again on Monday, and I'm feeling much more ready to tackle Kansas City head on! I'm walking as much as I can, a few miles a day, but unlike Gerry riding a bike does NOT make my back feel better.

I've been absent from the blog lately, and I apologize. Partly it's been the back - the pain was pretty amazing at times. But I've discovered a vicious circle where, as I begin to feel a little down, I post less. Then - missing my posting, the support and the venting that my blog allows - I get a little more down. Rinse, repeat.

So I'm taking some time before my flight to Kansas City today to blog - huzzah!

Perhaps worry isn't the word I should use - it's more a vague, overwhelming sense of impending work, and a fear that I will fall short of my duty. I's easy to fall into the Life is work, Work is life spiral. I've been doing just that, and not experiencing as much joy as I should. Joy is work, work is joy.

Reading over my previous year's posts (I'm doing the final edit for Knit with Courage, Live with Hope) I've noticed a definite pattern. Right before each TNNA I have this odd downswing in my confidence.

I look around and see so many other teachers and designers presenting new books, new patterns, new TV shows and - a happy as I am for them (I am, really!) - I'm envious, too.

So there - now it's out. Time to get back to work. Thank heaven I love my work, and my work loves me! And I love my blog.

And I love my daughter, who's been experimenting with cooking (I'm going to get her a subscription to COOKS to share with Gerry - they both dig the scientific way they dissect the recipes!) Here are some BEAUTIFUL dumplings that she made this week, along with chicken by Gerry.

And - one more thing - here's a hat I've just finished for Shaefer yarn, for a book that they have coming out. I love this shape, and want to play with it more (it's a nice, simple but flattering shape that will look good on many faces.)

I'm SO psyched to see this book, because the yarns I've been using are just stunning (I actually ended up using a very simple cotton (Susan) in a light color (Lilian Gilbreth), but I'd played around with several stunning yarns in beautiful colorways - named for strong women!! - along the way!)

Working through this pattern was intense. I'd done about 5 versions of this hat (one early hat try is to the right - along with the 1920's magazine that inspired that version) but it just would NOT come together.

I finally just sat with the yarn and knit for love, knit to enjoy it, not follow a chart or even taking notes.

Then I charted what I'd done and reknit it (to make sure it WAS knitable) Sometimes this is how the patterns come, it's always such an adventure.

To forestall all of the pre-TNNA angst, the worry, the reknitting of projects, I've downloaded a new book and I'm LOVING it! A few years ago some blog readers had suggested the Outlander series, but Audible wasn't offering it unabridged, so I didn't even consider it.

But now they have the unabridged version, and I'm completely smitten. I love this listen, it's excellent and Davina Porter is an amazing reader. I wish it would go on forever.

Thank you whoever suggested this. And if you like historical fiction and a little sci-fi, this is the book for you!