7 Miles of Heaven
Spicer is 5 miles from New London, but we're in North Spicer so we're actually 3-1/2 miles away as the bike rides.
Last night - finally (on my last evening here) I biked up to New London on the magnificent state bike trail and enjoyed myself thoroughly. Of course, I got here so late that the internet cafe and the yarn shop were both closed (too bad!) but I had a absolutely lovely time.
So this morning, instead of packing like I should be doing, I'm playing hookey and leaving it to Gerry and the kids to do the dirty work of laundry, taking the garbage out, getting the suitcases packed, etc. I figure it's only fair as I've been the pack-mule for all of our trips so far this summer, and I'm feeling so - tired - that I needed to give myself this break.
They can consider it an early birthday present.
I don't know WHAT took me so long to get to New London, but I wish I would have done it on day one. This is a hoppin' place, in a small town sort of way, and really a lovely little town.
The cafe where I'm breakfasting - Latte Da Espresso - is THE place to be! It's jammed with folks talking politics (local, state and national), weather, hunting, fishing, school district stuff. But the big topic seems to be Should Folks Who Can't Drive Be Allowed To Drive Golf Carts.
I hadn't intended to stay long enough to visit the local yarn shop, Uniquely Knits, but it opens in half an hour so maybe I'll just have another cup of coffee and settle in...?
One of the baristas here is a new knitter, but you can tell from the gleam in her eye that she's an ADVENTUROUS knitter - the best kind!
Talking with her was fun - she likes my Knit For Brains T-shirt - and I may run out and get her a set of Flip Knits from the car before I go.
This has been SUCH a wonderful week. Yesterday the whole family went for a bike ride to the park, then Gerry and Hannah rode farther to the grocery store in search of flip-flops (Hannah lost hers in the lake) The bikes we were riding were courtesy of Maria-of-the-cookies, the most amazing unexpected visitor we've ever had. THANK YOU MARIA!! (and you should see her car...)
But the week ends today - we could stay until tomorrow, but both kids have their school orientations this evening, and we can't miss THAT! And just in time, it looks as though the leaves are starting their move toward the crisp, lovely, best time of year - AUTUMN!
Gerry jokes that every Fall I get itchy to do something new. Move, start a new job, go someplace. And it's true - a convergence of my birthday (second hint) and the pavlov-like ring of a new-school-year make me feel that something DIFFERENT should be happening.
Could it be that this is why I'm feeling - unsettled - in my knitting/ designing/ teaching life right now? I've been fighting with demons of insecurity for a lot of this summer; am I doing the right thing by continuing the designing? Am I strong enough as ONE designer and teacher to alter the mindset of so many organizations to treat us [designers and teachers] with respect [decent teaching & travel compensation, IP rights to our designs, etc.]
I just don't know if I have the stamina right now. So I'm foundering.
The article on shaping is taking so much longer than I'd anticipated (I think I'm just not sure if it's an article on shaping a SWEATER, or on creative ways of shaping like entrelac and mitered knitting...?) The last deadling for IK submissions came and went and I couldn't dig myself any time to put together sketches and swatches (with the full knowledge that the large majority of them would be rejected) I think I'm just tired. Creatively, mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted and drained.
But there's still so much work to do. The Knit With Courage books should be ready from the printer soon, and at that point I'll be sending out the pre-orders and doing more marketing stuff. I was going to devote most of August to marketing, but we all know how THAT turned out.
I talked to Jan yesterday, she's nauseas from the chemo, bored, heartsick at missing her dogs, and she could really use me there.
I could use me here.
And do not forget this little cautionary tidbit: 100 Things To Do Before You Die author Dave Freeman dies at 47
Get out and do something new today, even if it's just a new knit stitch.
Last night - finally (on my last evening here) I biked up to New London on the magnificent state bike trail and enjoyed myself thoroughly. Of course, I got here so late that the internet cafe and the yarn shop were both closed (too bad!) but I had a absolutely lovely time.So this morning, instead of packing like I should be doing, I'm playing hookey and leaving it to Gerry and the kids to do the dirty work of laundry, taking the garbage out, getting the suitcases packed, etc. I figure it's only fair as I've been the pack-mule for all of our trips so far this summer, and I'm feeling so - tired - that I needed to give myself this break.
They can consider it an early birthday present.
I don't know WHAT took me so long to get to New London, but I wish I would have done it on day one. This is a hoppin' place, in a small town sort of way, and really a lovely little town.
The cafe where I'm breakfasting - Latte Da Espresso - is THE place to be! It's jammed with folks talking politics (local, state and national), weather, hunting, fishing, school district stuff. But the big topic seems to be Should Folks Who Can't Drive Be Allowed To Drive Golf Carts.I hadn't intended to stay long enough to visit the local yarn shop, Uniquely Knits, but it opens in half an hour so maybe I'll just have another cup of coffee and settle in...?
One of the baristas here is a new knitter, but you can tell from the gleam in her eye that she's an ADVENTUROUS knitter - the best kind!Talking with her was fun - she likes my Knit For Brains T-shirt - and I may run out and get her a set of Flip Knits from the car before I go.
This has been SUCH a wonderful week. Yesterday the whole family went for a bike ride to the park, then Gerry and Hannah rode farther to the grocery store in search of flip-flops (Hannah lost hers in the lake) The bikes we were riding were courtesy of Maria-of-the-cookies, the most amazing unexpected visitor we've ever had. THANK YOU MARIA!! (and you should see her car...)
But the week ends today - we could stay until tomorrow, but both kids have their school orientations this evening, and we can't miss THAT! And just in time, it looks as though the leaves are starting their move toward the crisp, lovely, best time of year - AUTUMN!Gerry jokes that every Fall I get itchy to do something new. Move, start a new job, go someplace. And it's true - a convergence of my birthday (second hint) and the pavlov-like ring of a new-school-year make me feel that something DIFFERENT should be happening.
Could it be that this is why I'm feeling - unsettled - in my knitting/ designing/ teaching life right now? I've been fighting with demons of insecurity for a lot of this summer; am I doing the right thing by continuing the designing? Am I strong enough as ONE designer and teacher to alter the mindset of so many organizations to treat us [designers and teachers] with respect [decent teaching & travel compensation, IP rights to our designs, etc.]
I just don't know if I have the stamina right now. So I'm foundering.
The article on shaping is taking so much longer than I'd anticipated (I think I'm just not sure if it's an article on shaping a SWEATER, or on creative ways of shaping like entrelac and mitered knitting...?) The last deadling for IK submissions came and went and I couldn't dig myself any time to put together sketches and swatches (with the full knowledge that the large majority of them would be rejected) I think I'm just tired. Creatively, mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted and drained.
But there's still so much work to do. The Knit With Courage books should be ready from the printer soon, and at that point I'll be sending out the pre-orders and doing more marketing stuff. I was going to devote most of August to marketing, but we all know how THAT turned out.I talked to Jan yesterday, she's nauseas from the chemo, bored, heartsick at missing her dogs, and she could really use me there.
I could use me here.
And do not forget this little cautionary tidbit: 100 Things To Do Before You Die author Dave Freeman dies at 47
Get out and do something new today, even if it's just a new knit stitch.
Feed me, baby!
12 Comments:
Hang in there. Did anything ever happen with DUH? I'm sure interested...
Oh, Annie, you just need to give yourself time to breathe deeply. You've been giving and giving all summer. Take some time to rest, and we'll all still be here when you're ready to write/create/design again. Although I'm not a published designer, I value the work you do in relation to designing and teaching. The craft would be stagnant without all the folks who are willing to go out on a limb with their time and talent.
I've done a lot of training and speaking in my former working life, and if it had not been part of my regular job I certainly would have wanted reasonable compensation. And I always got a room to myself, even though my employer was a tight-fisted government agency!
In that vein, what do you think of Patternfish, Twist Collective, and some of the other new ways to market patterns?
I'm the same way - the new school year always represents change to me and IN me.
In fact, because I went to a 2 year college and could/should have continued on but didn't, I found myself actually mourning the loss of heading to school in September.
don't expect too much from yourself...you're allowed to be "foundering"...my guess is that some wonderful things are going on in the back of your mind and they just haven't made it out yet.
Just my two cents but i'd love to see an article on creative shaping with things like entrelac and mitres. It just seems that everyone writes about shaping a sweater (not that you don't have interesting insights). I'm all for new and different.
You'll write better when you're rested so it's good to be taking a break. You can't give from a void.
Fall IS a time of new beginnings.
Annie! Why, oh why, do you doubt yourself so? You are an amazing designer. I tried to learn to knit twelve years ago. I never made much progress beyond garter stitch. Then I was in the bookstore one day. I saw three beautiful knitting books with designs like I had never seen before. Knitting Lingerie Style, Fitted Knits, and Romantic Hand Knits. It was like an epiphany. I went home and steadily progressed through different degrees of difficulty in small projects. I was in training to be able to knit your beautiful designs. Do not sell yourself short in your contracts and do not sell yourself short on your talent. You just have so much on your plate now due to family issues. Do not lose sight of YOU! Love.
Maybe you shouldn't look at the big picture? Could it be that now isn't the time to worry about altering the mindsets of the establishment, but just choose those venues that work for you right now and leave the battle for another day? Instead of going full out to teach all over the place, that you choose your favorite shops, or ones that are are easy to get to? Could it be that for a while you could be the midwest knitting guru and make the rounds of those shops only, just to make it easier on yourself? Until you're more rested, and later pick more up--liking picking up dropped stitches.
So, I guess I will throw my crazy brain dump in also. I wonder if you've looked into or even thought about teaching at a college level. There are so many wonderful colleges & university's just a short distance from your home (I am assuming I know which neighborhood you chose)I wonder if any of them have need for instructors in their art or theater departments. It could be the change that allows you to stay close to home and continue to work in the venue that you love.
Just a thought.
Definitely keep thinking outside of the box! I think that the field of designing has gotten very crowded lately...and frankly, I have only gotten an article sold to IK recently when something else "fell through" for them. So, maybe that's not the venue for you right now. Find a spot where you'll feel valued! Consider doing more in these alternative venues popping up--Twist collective or Patternfish-- or maybe, just maybe, taking a career turn and trying some teaching at a college, as someone else suggested or something else for a change. You don't have to fight all these battles at once! It's just not worth it. Life's too short--you're right on that one.
Your vacation sounded lovely, but reading your clean up list reminded me of when we had family vacations with our kids and I had that same list. You made a beautiful vacation for your family and priceless memories, but maybe you did not have as much vacation as everyone else--I know I never did...because I was cooking, cleaning, packing, making beds and so on. When those great kids are back in school try to give yourself some treats...some really good things for Annie. A break from designing might be like taking a nap...when you wake up you are so refreshed and ready to go, try new things...You know you are amazing!
Don't forget to breathe. That's all I'll throw in, so many others have responded so eloquently already.
Make time for you, even if only 5 minutes a day.
Your work is wonderful, please don't doubt that.
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