Wrenching Pain

It's been a very painful few days.
The Good News
On the good side, life is going very well for both kids, they really like their schools and like the other kids. They're making friends and are settling in wonderfully. Once we get Max's bed built he'll be feeling a bit more settled himself.
I had a lovely visit from some MN knitting guild friends (thank you, Kathy, Jennie, Shelley, Martha & Bonnie!) who came by yesterday with food and helping hands to get my yarn straightened up and some boxes emptied (but I felt too overwhelmed with to-do's to take full advantage of their aid - I have some hefty crocheting to deal with over the next few days...)
And Ninotchka is on TV today, I get to introduce Hannah to one of my favorite movies.
But we've had some great pain.
Crushing
Gerry found out yesterday that he may have a crushed disk in his back. The doctor took some Xrays and had him get an MRI last evening. We're waiting to hear back from the doctor as to what the next step will be, but Gerry continues to be in terrible physical pain.
Leggy
My legs are easing up - mostly because I've done a lot of butt-sitting for the past few days, and that's a mercy, but I just feel so overwhelmed with the work I need to get done and my physical inability to do everything I'd like to RIGHT AWAY. Patience is a virtue.
E-Misses
For some odd reason I've received several not-so-great emails lately from folks who are upset that the RRS pattern isn't available online. Most folks do understand my reasons, but every now and then someone gets a little not-very-nice, and I just happened to get a few of those emails today. An annoyance.
Crossed Wires
I've also had a few wires-crossed emails today; small, silly things, miscommunications and misunderstandings, mostly due to our move and me not being as clear as I should be. Once again, annoyances. The sample flip books from China that I've been waiting and waiting for were shipped to our NJ house the day after we moved. What's happened to them is unknown - I've sent our real estate agent to check with the new home owners, but my gut feeling is they may have ended up pitched out. I've written to the printer to request a resend of the sample books to our new address (I'm certain they'll send them out right away - it was their own mistake as they'd been directed to ship all books after Feb 5th to Minnesota)
The Greatest Pain
But our great pain is that our dear, beloved cat Butkis was killed this afternoon
He was hit by a car in front of our house - we all feel terrible. Hannah saw him first, which is so dreadful, but we were both with her, which made it slightly better. Gerry absolutely adored that cat, he was very special.
We made the decision to allow Butkis to be an outside cat when we moved to NJ. He loved being outside. He was insanely loud when he wasn't allowed to go out, and we felt that his happiness was so much greater when he was able to rule his own kingdom (About 5 years ago his littermate - an indoor cat named Milo - died of a heart attack in front of Gerry's sister.)
It wasn't a decision we made lightly, but we felt (and still feel) that all things considered it has been the better road. At least Butkis had a nice long and happy life - a thrill filled existence - he liked that.
I found his mom - a stray - when I lived in Brooklyn and Gerry actually met Butkis first. We were dating when the kittens were born, I was in North Carolina and Gerry called my hotel and left the message at the front desk, "It's a boy! It's a girl! It's a boy! It's a girl! It's a boy!"
As each of the other kittens geared up to jump out of the big cardboard box they called home, Butkis would sit next to them and blindside them, tackling them to keep them in the box. Hence the name Butkis - which should have been Butkus - oh, well...
Butkis was 14 and getting on in years. He had been getting thin lately, but we were marveling at how well he took the move to MN. We always felt that Butkis may have been walking on the wild side, but he was very happy living on the edge - and had debated making him an indoor cat when we moved. His own desire for freedom made that choice easy, but today Hannah's made the decision that Gigi will henceforth be an indoor cat - fine with us!
Gigi's definitely more suited to the indoor life, she's a meatloaf homebody of a cat, not the wild hunter that Butkis was. She will miss Butkis quite a bit.
Earlier today I was going to take a picture of Butkis curled up in the pet box sofa I put in the kitchen, but I put it off. He loved it, and it helped make him feel more at home wherever we happened to be.
March 1993 - Feb 2007









46 Comments:
Just a lurker (who loves your patterns), but I'm so sorry about your kitty cat. I vividly remember losing the awesome dog I grew up with to a stroke --- my family made the decision to have him put to sleep when it was clear he was in excruciating pain and nothing could be done for him. You never forget a great pet. I'm glad you had the consolation of his having had a long and happy life and a lot of great memories of him, though.
Hugs and shared tears -- my beloved Great Pyrenees Nilla died Feb. 13th. She was 11 and 3 mo. old but the most gentle spirit of an animal I have ever been blessed to be owned by. Glad you got home before the brunt of the storm. Just a couple hour ice storm here in SW PA.
Oh, Annie, I am so sorry about Butkis. What a shame.
{{Hugs}}
Ah, that's hard. But it's deadly hard to keep a cat that doesn't want to be inside in the house. I've lost cats that way in the past. It seems preventable, until you've had a cat push out your screens so he could get outside. :(
Hope things smooth out for y'all soon.
I'm so sorry, Annie. We have 10 feline family members (I'm not a nut... we live in the woods) and I agree that some cats just must be outdoors some of the time. Like Butkis, let us all live happily and pass quickly.
Poor Gerry -- and poor all of you at losing Butkis. My sister made the same decision, allowing Ringo (Starr) to be an outdoor cat, with the same end a few years ago. Ouch. Whom do we please, our beloved fur person or us? Very tricky. I'm sure you're near a lot of good docs in Minnesota to get Gerry back in shape. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other ...
I'm so sorry for your loss. Our pets are part of the family aren't they? Don't feel bad about giving him the freedom to roam, cats are like that. We had one that insisted on playing chicken with the cars that came down our quiet country lane, inevitably one day he lost with deadly consequences. I hope that your health improves soon (and Gerry's)
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your Butkis. Ellen at Knit Sisters lost her cat today (or at least in the last few days) too.
I am sorry to hear of Butkis passing :(
Hope you are all ok.
Annie, I'm so sorry to hear about your kittie. We lost our Sebastian a couple of years ago, he too was hit by a car. He was an outdoor, wildman kind of cat too. My husband took it very hard. He found him in the snow at the lumber yard where he worked when he was a kitten. The first time I saw him he was sleeping in a pizza box, the guys in the warehouse had let him eat their leftovers. He was our Pizza Kittie.
I'm so sorry to hear about Butkis. I can't believe he's gone. Miss Rasy will not take the news well. He was a great and LOUD cat, and we all adored him. I will fondly remember him sitting on the window ledge, meowing loudly for whatever reason. Everyone knew Butkis. God bless him.
Your friend,
Nicole
I'm so sorry about Mr. Butkis - he did have a great life though didn't he...
Also sorry about hubbies back - hoping it is something that can be fixed quickly and permanently.
OMG, Annie. I am so sorry for you all. Butkis was a wonderful kitty. I hope Gerry gets some relief from his pain. I hope the MRI shows something other than a crushed disc.
I had a wonderful time yesterday. Thanks for letting us try to help you. Any time, Annie, any time.
Shelley
Oh my. Losing a pet has got to be one of the most traumatic things. Hugs and kind thoughts to you and yours. What an awful thing.
I hope the back problem is easily fixed too, and doesn't turn into another awful thing.
Hang in there.
Annie, I'm so, so sorry. Those little beasties get right under our skin, don't they? I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. It sounds like there is so much change going on in your life right now!
Oh, Annie, I'm so sorry. :( At least you know that across the Rainbow Bridge Butkis can keep chasing things and living the 'wild side' and be safe and happy there until you meet again. I'm so sorry for the pain and loss though.
I'll pray for Gerry, and for your leg pain - Hopefully for some relief for him until the test results are back and some kind of treatment is devised to help ease his pain.
I am so sorry for your family's loss. It's so difficult to lose a pet. They become part of the family. We were adopted by a stray cat a couple of years ago. He rules the house. He bosses the dogs and most nights can be found curled up next to my husband for some head butting attention.
I love your blog, I am a new knitter and enjoy all the tips and news. Thank you very much,
Catherine
I'm so sorry, Annie. We lost our cat this weekend in just the same way, so I really feel your pain. It's a real grief. We had made a similar decision about our cat's need to be outdoors and we knew that cars were a risk. I don't think we would do anything differently, but we really miss his presence.
I hope in the midst of your mourning for Butkis that you get some relief for your family's other issues.
I'm so very sorry to hear about Butkis. And I hope you get some better news about Gerry's back and things start looking better in the coming days.
I'm so terribly sorry for your family's loss. Butkis sounds like a real corker.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I've lost many cats over the years, and it's always so tough to bear.
Delurking to say how very sorry I am about Butkis. What an awful thing during an already difficult transition. We too, made the decision to let our cat be an outdoor guy - for all the same reasons. We came very close to losing him shortly after we moved last summer, and with the number of coyotes about, may yet lose him prematurely - but like you, we couldn't deny him the enormous boost in quality of life. Doesn't change how much it hurts, though. My thoughts are with you.
So sorry, Annie, about Butkis. Any move is dangerous for a cat, unfortunately.
What's the RSS pattern? I thought that I was familiar with nearly all of your designs . . . .
I'm so, so sorry.
I am so sorry to hear the news about Butkis. I lost one of mine a few months ago, and I know the hurt you feel.
I am just so sorry.
So sorry to hear about your hubby's back and poor Butkis. AS for your sore legs, have you thought about getting a good, deep massage on them? ALways works wonders for me when I've taken on too much physical labor. Hang in there.
I usually lurk. I'm so sorry to hear about Butkis. Some cats are happiest when they're outside, even with the risk. It's been a bad month for pets in blogland. Hope Gerry finds some relief from his pain soon.
Another cat-lover sending sympathy. I know what a big hole those small creatures can leave.
Poor, dear Mr. Butkiss has gone to a better place and will no longer be troubled by cars, cold or cares! You have all been through a whole lot recently. Time to retreat if possible and cozy up in the human equivalent of that cat bed if you can. Take care! Helena
I'm so sorry your family lost your beloved cat! Hope you and your DH find relief soon.
I'm so sorry about Butkis. Losing a pet is so hard to deal with, especially with the upheaval of moving to a new city and all that stuff. (((Hugs)))
thinking of you on this sad occasion.
mr. butkis will be waiting at the rainbow bridge for all of you.
{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}
your household could use that right now, along with good thoughts and wishes. so I am sending you some immediately.
annie, i am so very sorry for yours and your family's loss! i was also anti outdoor cat until i experienced the very same thing and not only was my elijah loud, but would attack my dainty girl kitty if we didn't get to the door fast enough. Just like Elijah, Mr. Butkis lived a long happy life that he enjoyed thoroughly and I hope you continue to find peace in that. Wishing you and Gerry well too! Take care!
Annie-
That's terrible about your kitty.. I don't have a cat and even I'm torn up about it! Take good care of yourself these next few days, eh?
Good luck with what sounds like a monster amount of crochet to be done... I know when I'm busy whittling away at something, usually sitting on the floor, I do a hip opener or two every few hours to keep my legs from cramping up. Hang in there!
{{hugs}} I'm sure Butkis is playing with my Cosette (who I lost in January) and they are having a good time watching us and each other.
Annie: I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. My sympathies to your family. Take care.
I'm so sorry about your cat! Our cat is also an outdoor cat so I understand totally how your Butkis loved to roam.
I'm also sorry to hear about Gerry's back! That sucks! I hope they are able to take care of the problem and get him comfortable soon.
I eagerly wait for your posts and I love hearing about how everyone is settling in.
I'm so sorry to hear about Butkis... very sad indeed.
Annie--Very, very sorry to hear about the beloved Butkis. It's so stunning to lose a creature you love--last summer I had the same experience, and it is just the worst.
x0x00x0x0x
Oy. A hard way to lose a cat and hard for Hannah to have to see that. I'm scarred by my first cat on the road.... Sending good energies.
And hey - come on over to my blog and see your Corset in action! I like to think I sparked your sales that day - lots of people saw it through the Knittyboard.
Once upon a time, a good kitty died and went to heaven. St Peter asked what he wanted.
"Well," said Butkis, "I had a great life. I worked hard at being the Best Possible Cat. Now, you know, what I'd really like is a big bay window, where I can sleep in the sun all day."
St Peter waved his hand, and there was a big bay window in the sun (open a bit for the heavenly zephyrs), a fluffy cushion, bowls of water and Butkis' favorite kibble. Butkis sighed happily, curled up, and started snoozing.
St Peter went back to the Intake office. His next clients were a group of mice. St Peter asked what they wanted, now they'd reached heaven.
"Well," squeaked the spokesmouse, "This is going to sound a little weird. Y'see, we lived in a roller rink, and we always wanted to play roller derby. Pivots, blockers, jammers, referees, scorekeepers, the whole nine yards. Can we have some roller skates so we can be the Mighty Mice?"
St Peter waved his hand, and there wer skates, helmets, elbow pads, first-aid kit ... everything an aspiring rollermouse could want. The mice fell on the collection with cries of glee, and zoomed off.
A few days later, St Peter was making the rounds (to ensure that heaven is still heavenly, y'know). He came to Butkis' window and inquired.
Butkis s t r e t c h e d and yawned, then jumped down and wove himself around St Peter's ankles. "This is great!" he enthused. "Just what I always wanted! Oh, and the Meals-on-wheels were a nice touch."
Butkis sounds like a wonderful kitty, with a family who loved him enough to give him the freedom he needed.
What a terrible loss for your family!! But what a wonderful life for an animal to have...to be loved so much by a caring family. Sending you all good thoughts...
Annie - I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our dog yesterday for 18 hours and were horrified (we did later find him, but it was a grave reminder of how difficult it will be when we do lose him).
We lost our cat last year and they just leave a spot in your heart that cannot be filled. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace be with you all over the next difficult days.
Annie, I'm so sorry about Butkis. Those furballs sure do have a place in our hearts.
I've been wondering all day if today's blizzard came your way. If so, I hope that your family is safe and cozy and that you were able to get in some quality project-time.
I'm so sorry to hear about Mr. Butkis - I have a cat of my own and know how much they can mean. For a while I lived in San Diego with a relative who left the door open for her stupid dogs (I don't hate dogs, I love them, but hers were stupid). Anyway, the yard was fenced but San Diego has canyons and canyons have coyotes and coyotes like to carry off small domesticated animals. I fretted every single minute I lived there that she would end up some hungry coyote's dinner. (I don't hate coyotes either. I do hate urban sprawl.) Anyway, the pain will go away eventualy, but the memory of your furry friend never will.
i'm so sorry about butkis. it's hard when you lose a pet like that. we had ithappen alot when i grew up on the farm.
i'll bet he's stalking butterflies in heaven right now.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home