Fates Way
Waiting is crummy. Waiting for tests to be done on a family member, is even harder. Gerry has an appointment with a Hemotologist next Wednesday, other test to be done this week, but when the results of the tests done so far are considered we may be looking at this as a diagnosis.
Gerry's so pale, he just feels like crap, and I can't do anything to make it better. Well, actually, what I can do is work my butt off so that the mortgage is not a worry on top of all of this. Busy-ness is a mercy.
I sent out an email newsletter last night with two new patterns - and I'm working on making the Malabrigo Mitered Coat workable as a nice pattern (it's a fun garment, but I want to make it more usable.)
And, of course, my mind is on NONE of this work stuff - but that doesn't mean it doesn't have to be done! Thank heavens I have two big knitting projects to work on between the paperwork, taxes and general business nonesense. And thank heaven the kids are back in school next week - they like their day camp this week a lot, but we miss the regular routine of school.
I can tell that Gerry's missing his friends and family right now. In NJ he had a few good guy friends who could come by and visit if he needed - and although I'm making lots of good friends, it's hard for him to get out there and meet some fellow-travelers.
Gerry's so pale, he just feels like crap, and I can't do anything to make it better. Well, actually, what I can do is work my butt off so that the mortgage is not a worry on top of all of this. Busy-ness is a mercy.
I sent out an email newsletter last night with two new patterns - and I'm working on making the Malabrigo Mitered Coat workable as a nice pattern (it's a fun garment, but I want to make it more usable.)
And, of course, my mind is on NONE of this work stuff - but that doesn't mean it doesn't have to be done! Thank heavens I have two big knitting projects to work on between the paperwork, taxes and general business nonesense. And thank heaven the kids are back in school next week - they like their day camp this week a lot, but we miss the regular routine of school.
I can tell that Gerry's missing his friends and family right now. In NJ he had a few good guy friends who could come by and visit if he needed - and although I'm making lots of good friends, it's hard for him to get out there and meet some fellow-travelers.
46 Comments:
Annie, I'm so sorry Gerry's health continues to be such a worry.
I'll be thinking of you all ...
It is hard to find anything to say to someone facing such a difficult diagnosis. But my years as a nurse (and as the wife of a cancer patient) tell me that HAVING a diagnosis will help you settle down and get into the battle against it.
Knowing what kind of gremlin you are fighting is half the battle. New treatments for cancers are being developed all the time. While Myeloma may not be curable, there are treatments that can improve the quality of life for Gerry, AND for the family.
I hope all goes well for you and that you find caregivers that bring you some peace.
Dear Annie,
Thinking of you and all of your dear family. I send messages of love and support to you and those near to you. I wish I could do more.
Annie, I am so sorry about Gerry and all the pain and frustration. I can only imagine how scary this is for your whole family.
I wish I had some sort of useful and meaningful advice to give you but all I can offer is my sincere best wishes for Gerry and hope that he is able to treat whatever he has. I've got my fingers crossed for him.
OMG. Annie. Scary.
Gerry and the whole family are in my prayers as you wait. I am thinking helpful, healthful thoughts.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope that isn't the case and that we are all worried for nothing. You and Gerry are in my thoughts and prayers.
Oh Annie! Will keep Gerry and you all in my prayers for healing this week. May God be with you in this difficult time of waiting.
I am so very sorry to hear about Gerry's tests and the stress involved. Please remember to take care of yourself while you take care of your family. You can't support anyone if you can't hold yourself up. I'll be thinking good thoughts...
Oh Annie ((((((HUGS)))))). And I'll pray that this is not the diagnosis you all are facing.
Yes, it's good Project Runway didn't work out this time.
Thinking good thoughts for your family...
Oh Annie, I'm so sorry. What heart-breaking news. Cancer has ravaged my family in the past 8 years. They have so many wonderful treatments and medications now so try not to lose hope. Just love Gerry up and keep those adorable kids y'all have around him as much as possible. Nothing lifts your spirits like having energetic and spirited kids around!
I'll be praying for all of you.
With all my love and prayers, Liz Ramirez
Uh-oh. Hypercalcemia is definitely a red flag. I hope it turns out that Gerry is facing something less serious than multiple myeloma, but whatever ails him I know you will face it as a family. You are right to concentrate on your breadwinning duties while you wait for the next appointment--you can't just sit around worrying, and both of you will feel better knowing that your work is taken care of. Let me know if there's any crocheting you need help with if you are squeezed for time. I will be hoping for the best for all of you.
Sharon Silverman
www.sharonsilverman.com
I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers.
I have a friend who has had that for some time (years) and drug therapy is holding it pretty much at bay. Would you like me to put you in touch with her?
I'm sorry this is happening to you and I hope you can find a bit of a refuge in your work, to take your mind off it a bit.
Well HELL! (Believe me I cleaned that up a lot)
Lots and lots of good thoughts going out your way!
Annie,
It was a joy to get your newsletter today and then a sadness to feel your worry in your blog post. It must feel so hard to be in a new place and face a major medical challenge, whatever it turns out to be. I am wishing the best for you.
Ellen
This is a heavy load. I'm so sorry to hear that myeloma may be the next challenge. May you all feel the caring and hope that can lighten the path.
Well, that just beats all. We'll be keeping him in our thoughts and hoping for good test results. Ann
Oh Annie, what a trying time for you and your family! My thoughts are certainly with you and Gerry. I'll send you all the strong vibes I can!
prayers for you and your Gerry. Sorry you are having to go through this...the waiting is the hardest part.
Could you get word to some of those pals of Gerry's' and suggest a call from them would be appreciated right now?
You're in my thoughts!
Hang in there.
Annie, that's really a scary diagnosis.
I will say this though: My stepfather had it. He had it, and went inot remission for 25 years. Then it came back, and went into remission for another 5.
What I guess I'm saying is: I feel for you. I KNOW how scary it is. But please know that it doesn't HAVE to be an ending.
I'll be thinking of you all, and keeping my fingers crossed.
I will be praying for you and Gerry. I just went through breast cancer with my mom in February. Double mastectomy. She's fine now, but I know how scary all of this is. Especially not knowing for sure. God Bless you and your family.
Cheryl
Burbank, CA
LYS - Unwind
Hi, Annie! I'm so sorry to hear about Gerry -- thank god you've moved to the mecca of primo health care! Those idiots at Project Runway don't know a good thing when they see it!! I feared that your knitting might make them skittish, but your perception that being young and cute was a huge part of the ticket in is really irritating. I've been meaning to write you for days to tell you that your baby onesie in the new Vogue Knitting magazine is the best thing in the issue, IMHO. I gasped and laughed out loud when I saw it, and that was before I even saw your name attached to it. Fantastic and imaginative work . . .
Oh, Annie! My thoughts are with you and Gerry. I'll be waiting and reading your posts to see what they recommend. I'm sure he's bit lonely - being in the new place.
My thoughts are with you. I know it is difficult when a loved one is hurting, and you have a lot on your plate besides. Wish I could think of something to say that would be an encouragement but it is late and my brain has difficulty forming words even when it is fully charged. All I can think to say is "blessings on you and your family".
Punkin in Oregon
Hang in there, Annie. (and Gerry) The thoughts of an awful lot of people you'll never know, are with you now.
And I'm really looking forward to an excuse to buy some more Malabrigo.
Sending good wishes and prayers your way at this difficult time. You are in a good state in so far as health care in concerned. The folks at the Mayo Clinic are superb. Blessings to you all
i'm sorry annie. i hope gerry's tests come back negative and another less serious option is the real cause of his feeling like crap.
Sending good thoughts Gerry's way...
I am so sorry Gerry is going through this. Just thinking of ways to help,have you looked into whether he's eligible for SS disability payments?
oooh tough road. You are a strong lady.. and Gerry can lean on you!! Do any of his friends back home have mad internet skills?? a nice webcam session or two might fit the bill!
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Gerry and your entire family. Hopefully the news will be good.
I love your mitered bag patten and hope to see the coat pattern up soon
Wow - hope it's not what you think it might be. Sending good vibes to Gerry. Michele
Sometimes working can be a good distraction...I hope that it gives you a little break from the worrying. I'm hoping that things improve for Gerry, healthwise. You are in my thoughts!! A diagnosis can be scary but it can also help in knowing what is wrong and how to start treating it. Please know there are lots of folk cheering you on, and I'm only one of them. We're with you.
Oh my, how frightening. I'm keeping fingers crossed, although that makes it very difficult to knit.
Good luck to your husband BUT remember to take care of yourself also. I took care of my husband through a long illness and you can't take care of Jerry if you wear yourself out!
Me again...I love that you are giving the lovely Ruffled Roses pattern to yarn shop owners to help boost shopping in our lys! Another reason you are my knitting guru!
I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. I will continue to pray for all of you.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Hang in there, better days are ahead.
Brenda
Dear Annie -- personal note, not for publishing...
I am one of the "friends of Lucas Mueller" that you met at the Yarnery a couple of weeks ago. Thank you for sharing the info on Gerry's cancer testing. I have wrestled with whether to send this to you, as I am certain you are getting tons of "advice". (Please know that my intent is to be of help.) Last year my sister was helping a neighbor whose teenage son was paralyzed in a sports accident. I gathered some notes for my her, from a co-worker whose family had gone through a major health crisis, about how they kept their family life strong, made sure they made time for their kids, etc.
My best wishes to you and to Gerry as you face this challenge together.
~~ Shelly Britton (friend of Catharine Meuller)
"........I talked with a co-worker yesterday, that had a family situation with a "big injury" a few years ago, and asked her if she had any pointers for
helping out, and she had some great ideas.
The family situation was that her brother-in-law was on a high
scaffolding, working on a sign, and the ground under one corner of the scaffolding gave way, and he fell onto a driveway. Severe head injury, multiple broken bones in arm and leg and pelvis, they weren't sure if he would live at first, then not sure he would recover enough to be able
to be cared for at home, and definitely not sure if he would ever be able to work again. His hospital was about an hour from home, and it was quite a strain on his wife to deal with that, and with their two small children. (Story has a happy ending - he had still got some cognitive
problems from the brain injury, but is back at his job, and doing
good.)
Here are the tips my co-worker passed on (from the point of view of the main adult/caregiver/parent).
If you can, take another clear-thinking grown-up with you to the doctor appointments. Especially if you have a friend that's a nurse, or has a medical background.
Have someone at the house to answer the phone for you, or get an
answering machine. Don't pick up the phone yourself.
If it helps you, keep your close family and friends updated yourself, but definitely give the job of updating everyone else to someone else.
You will need to talk to close friends, and cry, and complain, and get things off your chest. Find folks that you can trust to keep the things you confide to them private. Try to not "really let loose" where your kids can hear you.
Any job that someone offers to do, that gives you more free time with
your kids, let them do it. (Yard work? Grocery shopping? Cooking?
Laundry? Taking the car to the shop for repair or an oil change?
Getting the lawn mower fixed?)
Get real clear about who gets "top priority" for your time and energy,
and who gets what's left (if there is any left). You don't want to end up spending a lot of time talking to folks you hardly know, with your kids getting no time or attention from you at all.
Make sure you get some protected family time every week, and some
protected personal time every week. Maybe just watch a movie and eat popcorn together, or play games with the kids, but do something with just you and your family every week - no outsiders. If you need to, have a friend there to answer the door and pick up the phone, so you and your family can have some uninterrupted time together to do something fun.
When you're out with your family, and people come up to talk to you,
don't get sucked into just talking about the one that's in the hospital.
Keeping in touch with friends is important, for you, and for the one in the hospital. Your friends might feel awkward and not know what to say. If you need them, and need their support, tell them. Help set up times to get together. Help the one that's in the hospital keep in touch with
their friends.
Get another driver to help you bring your other kids to the hospital for visits. That way, you can stay as long as you want, and do whatever is needed (talk to the nurse, etc.), and another adult or two will be there
to help handle the kids, or can take them home, if the kids are ready to go home before you are.
People offering food or other items might not know what you like, or what you most need, or when you would need it. It's OK to just say no thanks, but it's even nicer to tell them what would work better for you. If someone asks you if you want a casserole, you can say "thank you for
asking. People have been so generous, and our refrigerator is stuffed full! But you know what we could really use right now, is some gift certificates to Dairy Queen, for treats for the kids. Could you help spread the word that gift certificates would be welcome? The kids really like Dairy Queen, and Subway, and Hardees." In this way, you
can express appreciation for their kindness, and steer them to what
would be more useful to you. People that are offering help would rather offer something you can use, so help them do that. Same way, if they offer to go grocery shopping for you, and that's something you'd rather
do yourself, you can just say "thank you for asking. You know, I don't need help with the grocery shopping, but grocery money would be very helpful, or gift certificates to Cub (or wherever you shop)".
Sorry to hear about your husband's possible cancer diagnosis. The good news is that at least it is a diagnosis and treatable. In my mind, it's always better to know what's wrong and what to expect than to just hurt without a good explanation for why.
As to the other, it's amazing how narrow-minded people can be. Certain industries are still very imagine-conscious (fashion in particular). I always think of the movie/book "The Devil Wears Prada" where they keep calling Andy (who wears a size 6) fat.
Oh wow. I hope things go well at the appointment. *sending good karmic thoughts your way*
Okay folks, where are the comments? This lady and her husband need our thoughts, our prayers and our virtual hugs.
Annie, I know you only through your blog and your work but my heart is with you.
The very best of luck to you and Gerry.
Ruth in no. NJ
Nobody should have acts of medical science perpetrated upon them, and nobody should have to watch a loved one endure acts of medical science.
My heart goes out to you.
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