Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Black Eye in Duluth

It actually looks now as though I'm just wearing a lot of eye shadow on one eye. If I match the other eye, it's not bad! I like to think of it as my Alex DeLarge look.

I wish I had a really fun story about how I got it, but it was a taxi driver. Specifically, it was a really rude driver who refused to put mybags in his (filthy) cab - I didn't want them in the trunk with the dirtiest spare tire in history - and putting them in the backseat on the (ripped and torn) upholstery was so far out of his job description that I put them in myself.

And as I shoved one of the bags along the back seat I hit my eye on the door. That's the story.

So I did it, but because the rudest taxi driver in history wouldn't help with the bags. Did I mention that the window didn't roll down, the door had a big HOLE in it above the handle (probably someone kicking to get out of the cab) and it was about 101¼F in the cab?

As he drove off he yelled, "You may THINK you have a pair, but I MINE are bigger!" - which I found amusing because he was hugely fat and had man-boobs, so although he may have been alluding to a different part of his anatomy, all I could think was he was bragging about his bra size.

Oh, and he smelled. Eh, I guess there's one in every town.

So imagine how thrilled I was to see Gerry and the kids arrive at the Waterpark motel! Always great to see my family - and the dog - and the PT Cruiser - all in one piece!

The kids absolutely LOVED the Edgewater - it's a very kid-centered experience. Gerry and I were less excited about the pool, but seeing the kids so happy is exitement enough!!

Atticus was just happy to watch the seagulls from the balcony. So the kids splashed and played and swam until 9:30, then up the next day to splash and play until we packed up and hit the road.

We were early to check into our rental, so we went to the Depot and rode the North Shore Scenic Railrorad, then the kids explored the museum while Gerry rolled along with his walker (which is also a "sitter" with a built in seat - THANK YOU MARTHA!) and I walked Atticus up to the Wells Fargo to make a deposit.

Duluth reminds me of other Great Lakes cities I've visited in Ohio, NY & Michigan. It seems less Minnesota to me - folks seem to be rushing more (maybe because it's colder here?) and I've seen a lot more impatient drivers. It's always odd to judge a town by the driving when it's on a highway and has a lot of tourist or seasonal traffic. Or maybe I'm just traumatized by my cab ride...

After the kids were worn out at the Depot (they LOVED it by the way - THANK YOU, CASEY!) we 'checked into' our rental and were immediately hit with house envy. This is ONE HUGE house - lots of room, two bathrooms (with showers) on the second floor and a powder room on the ground floor. It's a house that needs a few more kids, and we feel oddly alone in the house. [Sigh] But we'll somehow get along in the luxury surroundings...

The end of the yard is a cliff down to Lake Superior, but there's a rustic stair down to the pebble shore which I'm sure Atticus and the kids will explore today. It makes me think of other Great Lakes houses I've stayed at in my life (we used to have friends with a house like this when I was a kid in Ohio) and we're settled in very nicely.

We even barbequed last night - steak and asparagus and after dinner, S'mores!

Let's see the Girl Scouts do better than THAT when Hannah goes to camp this summer!

The house doesn't have internet, which is kind of a blessing, so every day I'll come down to Dunn Bros for some mommy alone time, and check email.

Today that may take a while - here's what was waiting for me at my in-box. I usually get between 30-50 emails between checkings. This is a new record for me.

I guess that makes it understandable that we'd have missed the Rhubarb Fest. Damn.
However, there may be a future for me in rewriting long-winded political catch-phrases...




THANK YOU
Gerry and I have both been overwhelmed by the kind comments, the financial gifts, but most of all by the LOVE that has been showered on us. It's hard to express how much this means - how it affects us when someone writes with a similar story, or to give us advice on a good pillow to use or a nice kind of walker. THANK YOU!

I've been enough of a busy body in my life to NEVER resent a good wish or thought from someone else. We all know why we want to help - it makes us feel good, it makes us feel worthwhile if we can prevent someone from going through a bit of pain, or feeling something that we had to feel. Gerry and I both greatly appreciate the sentiment and the love that is behind all of the comments.

To say that we're overwhelmed would be an understatement.

What I would like to say is that Gerry's more relaxed and has slept better in the past few days due - in no small part - to a bit of financial worry that's been eased from his mind. I told him right after the Mayo visit that the kids and I will ALWAYS be fine, we'll find a way through this so that financially we'll be okay, and that his focus should be on his health - not on the bank account.

But he hears me on the phone (even though I try to talk on the porch or in the car) and he knows that this whole thing can run someone a little ragged. After all, he cared for me body and soul when I had my OWN medical emergency 4 years ago, and I will never forget him for that.

And then there's this:
Anonymous wrote in my comments: You can "pay them back" by promptly writing every single person that gives money a personal email to thank them. Knowing you appreciate the time and money they sent and took time to thank them personally makes people feel good.
Dear Anonymous - You're absolutely right - I feel the same way. That's why I have been writing everyone back. Today I spent over 3 hours doing just that, and every other day I spend about 1-2 hours doing it. (And answering the responses I get to my emails. And writing nice notes to folks who just write to say they're thinking of us.)

I'm sorry if I sound defensive (I know I do - it must be the black eye talking - sorry!) I don't mean to - I just want to clarify!

I just don't want folks to get the idea that I'm NOT thanking everyone - or that I'm not terribly grateful.

I would not have mentioned this on the blog if it wasn't a in the comments, but once things are out there, folks might remember the comment and think, "It's a shame she can't find time to personally thank folks..."

And I'm very happy to write and thank folks! I wish I could do more. Emotionally and mentally, I get a lot out of writing to all of you, it's good for me. Thank you again.

20 Comments:

juliet said...

Delurking to say that, though I understand what anonymous means about the value of a personal thankyou, I wonder whether s/he knows how overwhelming it can be to have to thank people personally for every small and large act of kindness when you're facing a crisis. People like to help; it makes us feel good. By all means respond personally if it nourishes you to do it, but your general thank you for donations is more than enough for me. Time is precious for you and your family right now, so just pay us back by enjoying being with them.

June 26, 2007 1:21 PM  
Anonymous said...

Annie, when I received your thank-you e-mail--it came within MINUTES of my PayPal donation--I was struck dumb. It is lovely of you to respond to everyone personally, but I didn't expect it, under the circumstances.

June 26, 2007 1:24 PM  
AmyP said...

Yeesh - that's a shiner and a half! I appreciated the time and effort you took to reply to me (I honestly wasn't expecting one). I hope the break has done you all good - the kids look like they had fun!

June 26, 2007 1:33 PM  
caroncm said...

According to my daughters, man boobs=moobs.Relax and enjoy the lake.

June 26, 2007 2:28 PM  
B. said...

Yow! You are not supposed to be hurting yourself like that, Annie DeLarge, but if I were you I'd be tempted to try you try painting on the eyelashes like he did. Very scary.

June 26, 2007 3:54 PM  
shoeboots said...

It sounds like you're having a wonderful vacation (minus the black eye!). I'm glad everyone is getting some good R&R and having a much-needed break from the stress back home!

June 26, 2007 5:27 PM  
Barbara said...

I am so sorry to hear about your bad cab driver incident and it is totally his fault you have a black eye.

As for being thanked, I help when and where I can - for my own reasons. Not one of which is the expectation of being thanked. I understand that usually the person I am helping is just barely holding on to do what they have to do to get thru the day. The burden of gratitude expression is not one that I want to heap on top of everything else happening right now.

On the other hand, I know that I got thru a very bad time in my life by listing every thing I was grateful for, every night to remind myself that the overwhelming depression causing me to believe that life was crap and always going to be crap - was a dirty lie.

I know that people told me that I was going to be ok at a time when I thought I would never be ok again and I thought they were full of it, and resented like hell their assertation, but they were right.

Hold on to all the wonderful things in your life, family, talent, friends, etc and you will be ok.

June 26, 2007 6:29 PM  
rho said...

I was amazed when I got my thank you - to be honest I just figured you would be so busy that I wouldn't hear from you for a long time -- so believe me she is on top of it--to the person who posted.

btw those asparagus and s'mores looked fantastic! Made my mouth water...and the whole place sounds wonderful - have a super time!

June 26, 2007 6:41 PM  
Amanda said...

I just started reading your blog. Don't worry too much of what that anonymous person wrote. There always has to be at least one critic in the bunch. Helping others for mere recognition is a totaly wrong way to approach life. Besides you have enough to worry about. Oh.. and I love your designs...

June 26, 2007 9:17 PM  
Ellen in Minnetonka said...

When I read the comment in re: thanking everyone personally, I didn't see it as criticism, I saw it as a suggestion to ease any guilt Annie and Gerry might feel at being the recipient of so much love and concrete support. Mind you, I hope they don't feel any guilt, one, because part of being human is wanting to help and being allowed to help is such a gift, and two, because Annie and her family have all given us so much already. But I choose to think it was one more attempt to help, not to criticize. At least that's how I see it.

June 26, 2007 9:51 PM  
susanc said...

This post has been removed by the author.

June 27, 2007 9:33 AM  
Twisted Knitter said...

I wanted to let you know how surprised I was about your immediate reply to my PayPal donation -- your personal, sweet thank you. It was unexpected and delightful.

June 27, 2007 10:27 AM  
meg said...

So glad to read that you're having a great time up the shore. It was a delight to see you at Yarn Harbor. Your enthusiasm lit up the place all day long. I don't know how you do it with all that's on your plate right now; you inspire me.

I was sad to read about the 'thank you note' issue. I know how hard it is to ask for help - and for someone to think that you're not sufficiently grateful - that would sting more than a little bit. Maybe that person was having a black-eye day too?

You've said thank you many times in your posts and I think that's more than enough for most people.

Remember anyone who's met you (or reads you for that matter) knows what a kind and grateful heart you have. You're in my prayers.

June 27, 2007 1:17 PM  
Annette said...

It was a pleasant surprise to get a personal thank-you e-mail - like so many others I didn't expect it (and actually thought "I hope Annie has some automated system for this to make it go faster - she has so many other things to do!").

I don't know if we really help others in order to "feel good". I just needed to ease the pain I felt when thinking of your family's situation. As long as money can help (a little), you can always do something...

June 27, 2007 2:40 PM  
Kat said...

It is unfortunate that the act of giving somehow requires something in return. Blessed are those who give without the expectation of something in return. Annie, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing with all of us.

June 28, 2007 8:54 AM  
Cynthia said...

Annie: My father died four years ago at the age of 67; he had multiple myeloma as well. I'm hoping that Gerry's treatment will go well and that your family will have many more years together.

June 28, 2007 1:21 PM  
Anonymous said...

I'd never heard of you before I read about you on Crazy Aunt Purl's blog. What a lovely discovery you are! You are absolutely correct in your belief that you and the children will be fine. God bless. Trisha B.

June 29, 2007 6:12 AM  
funfairiegirl said...

Annie - I am so sad at all of this. I have been lurking about. But wanted to say that I am so sad. My dad passed from melanoma in December. There is no stem cell transplant or anything for it. Once it is in the system, it is pretty fatal as chemo doesn't touch it and radiation only shrinks it. In the end it was in his brain and lungs. We were lucky to have the time with him that we did, but I know the expense.

On the other hand, I work with a guy who had a successful stem cell transplant last year. In fact it was May of 2006. He looks FANTASTIC after a lengthy rest period after. But he looks great and right now he is cancer free.

*hugs and love*

June 29, 2007 6:55 AM  
Ruth said...

Annie-I feel that 'anonymous' doesn't realize how much time and energy it takes to function even on a basic level when in a situation like yours. I would hope that you could spend your time taking care of yourself, doing the things that will help you cope, and not having to worry about us as well.
Ruth

June 29, 2007 7:42 PM  
Anonymous said...

Annie,

I was so shocked to receive an email back from you! You are amazing :)

The fact that you take the time to email everyone with all that is going on is unbelievable.....

I have a long term chronic illness and know how hard it is just to get through the day. Lean on others and you guys will get through it.

Theresa

July 01, 2007 5:12 PM  

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