Sunday, July 08, 2007

Generosity, Foolishness and Horse Sense

It's so hot - the kind of days where women in corsets used to faint and horses would droop in their stands. Sometimes they'd be overcome with the heat and expire (the horses, not the women - or, maybe the women, too.)

And, of course, when your horse is dying and you still need to get across town,
beating a dead horse gets you nowhere. So instead of beating it, I'll try to gently move it to a resting place where it can be at peace.

I think our most humane urge is to give, to be generous, to be kind. Once we outgrow the 'gimme' stage of childhood, we begin to see the benefits of giving, and we also may be on the receiving end at one point or another - THAT'S an enlightening experience.

When someone takes advantage of such beautiful generosity, it's treachery. A deep and nagging anger can consume the fooled giver. I think what happened was the woman I quoted in my earlier post - let's call her Mrs. X - misinterpreted what she'd read about Gerry's MM Fund on a different website, then felt that she'd been suckered in some way, and has a lot of anger about it.

Anger is strong, and - by definition - maddening. Once anger is felt and expressed it's VERY hard to go back and apologize. (Or even admit to ourselves that we may have been mistaken in expressing such anger.) Heaven knows I have been the guilty party in getting mad over insignificant things many times in my life.

I wasn't going to blog about it again - it just seemed like bad karma - but this morning I read a comment on my original post about the kitchen re-do misunderstanding and I realized that there still may be questions out there about our high on the hog lifestyle.

Party, party, party!

It made me realize that someone has to go out and scrape up the dead horse and bury the poor thing. So I'll do it. I always wanted to be a large animal vet!

Here's the comment - which I think is very kind and I'm very sad that the writer felt they couldn't leave their name. But I do understand - the righteous indignation by my readers was pretty strong (and, yes, even as I appreciated the sentiments I was troubled about the nasty turn some of the comments took. I know you guys want to protect me, but be kind and assume the best when you post to my blog. We all know that nastiness has a way of coming right back and I am - at the end - responsible for my blog and comments.)
I want to thank you for writing this post. I wasn't the person who sent you that email but I was feeling a little bit that way. When you are struggling to pay the normally week to week bills you can feel pretty foolish for sending money to someone who can afford to renovate her home. After reading your post, however, I can appreciate that the renovations are necessary as part of the care of your husband.

I never sent you an email, however, because my attitiude was that in a worse case scenario I had simply bought a pattern on impulse that I was unlikey to use - and who amongst the knitting community hasn't done this before? I think we all have to take responsibility for the decisions we make - including sending money to someone else.

I am leaving you this message because I think it was appropriate for you to address the issue raised and to say that I appreciated it. However, I am signing this as annonymous as I do not wish to be attacked by your fans.
First of all - thank you to the person who wrote this.

This was exactly my reason for posting the original email from Mrs. X. I hadn't particularly thought it was a bad email, but I thought it did bring up a point that needed to be addressed.

As I said, I was afraid that others may have thought the same thing, and it was important for me to express to folks who hadn't been reading my blog that the kitchen re-do was necessary, and it is really just dividing our kitchen into a bathroom/laundry/kitchen due to my husband's illness.

Unfortunately, it was my posting of the email - and the comments from readers - that really angered Mrs. X. I received 8 not very nice emails last night from the same source. I responded to 4 of them before I realized that it was a losing battle. There was no way I could get her to understand our reasons for needing a bathroom, and no matter what I wrote it was perceived as a lie. She accused me of using her email as a fundraising opportunity.

Silly her - Gerry's illness is the fund raising op! Sheesh!

Mrs. X also wrote to the blogger from whom she'd originally read about Gerry,
As it turns out, those donations are also being funneled toward expenses for vacations and non-essential home improvements that have nothing to do with her husband's illness.
Fabulous - I'm making the email rounds. The jig is up - we didn't go to Duluth, we went to VEGAS, baby! Actually, the entire Duluth trip was paid for by my lecture and teaching engagements at the start of the trip at the guild and at Yarn Harbor.

Well, when something is stinking up the street, you go clean it up. It's not fun - no one wants to get the flies all riled up - but it's the best thing to do. People might even yell at you while you're doing it, but it's got to be done.

This, dear readers, is the stomach clenching fear of anyone who asks for help. This is why some folks are "proud" and won't accept help from others.

Once you're given something - be it an old dress, $50 or a scholarship to Harvard - you feel an obligation to wear the dress well, spend the $50 on sensible things, and succeed in your studies. This is a good instinct - we should always try to honor the giver of a gift by using the gift in the best way possible.

But sometimes the giver of the dress tells you you need to lose weight to wear it, the Aunt who gave you $50 is angered that you spent some of the money on candy, and the Harvard benefactor feels you should really major in chemistry, not Latvian folk dance.

And - we can't escape from the sad truth; Some folks DO lie. They exaggerate situations, they make up things to get money - they scam.

The kindness we've been shown (in emails, cards, purchases of the pattern) has been SO great that I am filled with worry that anyone would think, let alone write, the following:
Whatever your rationalization might be, I chose to donate to a woman whom I thought needed care for her husband. I DO NOT CHOOSE to donate any money to someone who thinks that the world owes her a new kitchen because her husband is dying. Shame on you.
Please know - this is not a scam. How humiliating to have to write that. I swear, if I didn't laugh I'd cry. Oh, crap - I am crying!

She ended her last email last night with,

I'll blog about my experience with you tomorrow in the hopes of saving other stupid suckers from falling into the trap of donating to you and after that, I'm done.
Attention Stupid Suckers; Please DO NOT purchase the Red Carpet pattern - that is all.
I don't like to admit it - it's probably because I have a lot on my plate right now - but I was up a good portion of the night lying in bed fretting about this. I didn't want to tell Gerry because I knew it would make him feel bad - but I was a silent, dour shadow of myself last night when I received the awful emails.

However, this morning she wrote to say that she wouldn't blog about me because it wasn't cool. But when I read the comment from the kind person above, and discovered that Mrs. X had been emailing to others - friends of mine - about this, I figured it had to be addressed.

So I guess I'm not cool - no big surprise there. It's friggin' BROILING here.

I'd rather just deal with this openly, get it out and get the damned horse buried. So now Gerry knows, the world knows, and it's easier to breathe. Neigh.

I'm not doing this for Mrs. X, but for anyone who may have a nagging doubt about the whole friggin' kitchen or our propensity to want to live our lives as richly and fully as possible.

The nerve.

Mrs. X did say that on three occasions she's been the caregiver for folks in serious medical situations, so I think she does have an inkling of this situation. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I'm sorry that she had to go through with it three times. That is rough.

Thanks for allowing me to go on about this (as if I could be stopped, huh?) I could let it fester, I could wait for the city authorities to remove the carcass of poor Dobbin, or I could just go out and do it myself.

If you need me, I'll be in the back yard with a shovel.

As a side note - we are planning to take out a short term home equity loan to cover the cost of this renovation. We've always planned that, and we will designate the Red Carpet Convertible funds to pay for accommodation and travel expenses for ourselves in Rochester and our kids during the BMT. I write a brief note to everyone who buys the Red Carpet Convertible, and I've mentioned in some of the notes specifically what we've earmarked that donors funds for.

As someone else suggested in my comments, I'm going to write a little blurb about this - along with the plans for the kitchen - and link to it from the Red Carpet Convertible page so folks can read and understand what's going on with that. This is NOT a cosmetic re-do of our kitchen (although while we're doing it, we're trying to do it as beautifully as we can afford - not expensive, just tidy & well designed.)


DeltaDawn said...

Holy canoli Annie - I'm always a bit behind on your blog - so sorry you had to write this post, but I'm so glad you did. I've been sending massive energies, and I'm buying the pattern as soon as I'm done here. How many can I buy?? Unfortunately, the human condition makes it impossible for one to walk in another's shoes - and makes us a bunch of asses when we start thinking we can.

I hope that new kitchen does put your family high on the hog - and that your journeys to Rochester are safe and healing.


July 08, 2007 1:00 PM  
KibitzKnitz said...

(((((HUGS))))) for all of you. I've been thinking about you, and am sorry to see this additionall stress is being piled on (with a shovel)! :^)

July 08, 2007 1:08 PM  
Anonymous said...

I don't know you personally but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with Mrs. jackass. I hope you will no longer respond to her. She has her money back. You've gone out of your way to be polite to the woman in all ways imaginable and it's still not getting through her very thick skull.

Please get back to the business of taking care of your family, Gerry, your home, work and all the other things piled on your plate. People like Mrs. jackass aren't worth wasting your precious energy on. Go get some rest!

July 08, 2007 1:12 PM  
Kim-n-Cocoa said...

You are so right about kharma. Lets pray that Ms. X steps back and takes a deep breath and really LISTENS before she hurts hers. You have nada to worry about. Your explanations are clear and everyone who comes here SHOULD understand. Don't fret about THIS you have enough on your plate. The horse is burried and ya know... just ignore any emails from ms X. If she's feeling put upon that is coming from HER to herself. Heck, she has her money back.. Know that you and your family are in everyone's good thoughts. Man if you could auction off the size of your present kitchen I would bid! I need a few more feet in mine. :-)

July 08, 2007 1:19 PM  
annie said...

Yeah, we're land-rich in the size of our kitchen (the previous porch was enclosed by the previous owners to extend the kitchen)

But it's very raw - not many appliances and LESS storage or counter space. Which makes the whole dividing up quite easy, actually.

July 08, 2007 1:31 PM  
Wendy o'C said...

Annie dear -- you do realize that you can block emails from hateful people, right? She doesn't deserve one more minute of your time or your thoughts.

Thinking good things for you and your family.

July 08, 2007 1:41 PM  
rhubarb said...

Let it go, hon. Some people just cannot be reasoned with... and aren't worth the trouble.

July 08, 2007 2:44 PM  
amy [Knitty] said...

I started to write a post on my own blog in response to this stupid woman's rantings, but stopped myself. The trouble with stupid people is that telling them they're stupid does absolutely nothing. They are too dumb to understand.

I agree that you need to block this woman's e-mails from getting to you. You've given her money back to her [and good riddance to it] and you don't need to take her abuse a second longer. As you can see, you are surrounded by many, many people who understand and support the caring, compassionate choices you are making for you and your family.


July 08, 2007 2:48 PM  
Kate said...

I've had to deal with similar poison people (unfortunately, my siblings), and the best advice in surviving such hatefulness came from my wise daughter: "don't engage." I keep thinking all people are rational, and they just don't understand, so all I have to do is explain to them and everything will be okay. Nope. I also want to know why people are so awful--also a useless endeavor. Their hearts are shrunken, or someone hurt them irreparably long ago, or they just got born mean. We can't fix them. Maybe this Asian saying will help you a little: Burn the pain as fuel for the journey. You're brave and honest--keep your chin up.

July 08, 2007 2:49 PM  
annie said...

Well, you're all brilliant, she's been blocked, and disengage is the watchword of the day.

A storm is coming, I'm thrilled to pieces because the temp has dropped about 15 degrees.

Life is good. Rain is a redhead's sunny day!

July 08, 2007 2:55 PM  
Leah said...

I've been following your blog for well over two years now and haven't ever commented (I think?) nor read the comments. However, these recent entries have me wanting to toss in a few words:

It's GOOD to talk about this. I know I was disappointed when you decided to go with the smaller remodel. Ha! shows where my brain was at, that I hadn't even thought about the massive medical expenses you had coming up. Heck, it didn't even really sink in for me what sort of future you have ahead in the years to come.

Because no, I have NOT been in this type of situation before. I know many who comment have and therefor have a better understanding. For whatever reason, Mrs. X has but still doesn't see the POV of a remodel being a 'need' or that it's coming out of *different* funds.

Point being: we all come from different places, have different views and different interpretations. We all 'value' choices differently and no matter what, folks WILL read into things different.

So dead horse aside (horrible imagery but so be it), it's good to talk about it -- summarize all this into one side link and let it be. YOU and GERRY and everyone else have much more important things to do with your time and energy.

(and as an aside, if I get around to ordering those flip books, can that money at least go into your frivolous spending account? Because you ALSO need that. Money allows creativity and you can't smother that).

July 08, 2007 3:09 PM  
hapagirl said...


You show an amazing amount of grace under pressure. I'm so sorry you had to deal with more stress because of that woman. You have been honest and up front about everything and are making the right choices for your family.

So, as you said above, disengage, enjoy the rain, and your family.

July 08, 2007 3:13 PM  
touran said...

You've always been so clear and generous with your life on this blog. I can't understand how someone can misunderstand so cruelly. It's heartbreaking that by baring your soul, you've had to deal with unnecessary crap. Makes me want to cry. Please know that people so dead inside are in the minority. Take care.

July 08, 2007 3:19 PM  
Ruth Frances said...

Annie, I'm sorry you've had to deal with this extra pain and worry when you have so much else going on. I am confident that those who are supportive and caring far outnumber the ones who aren't. Several of my knitting group have agreed that altho we can't give as much as we'd like, we can give smaller amounts monthly as your expenses will be ongoing. So you will continue to be in our thoughts and our prayers. We're in this with you for the long haul, girl.

July 08, 2007 3:32 PM  
Knit Mongrel said...

I'm so sad that this has happened to you. With everything going on in your life right now I'm sure that exactly what you wanted was for someone to come over to your house and pee on your shoe.

Why would anyone donate to someone on a condition? Why don't people simply give because they want to help? Maybe it's just me, but I hope you use my donation to buy some ice cream. Or a case of Double Stuf Oreos. Or some booze. Whatever the hell will give you a smile, even if only for a few minutes.

You all are in my thoughts, and I'm sending you my best prayers for strength (and, let's face it, loads of gourmet ice cream).

July 08, 2007 3:33 PM  
Laura said...

Don't you hate having to justify yourself over and over? Life is so short and family is so precious.
Try to let it go and go forth with your life and your family. (Easier said than done & you may have to remind me of this later!)
Blessings to all!

July 08, 2007 3:37 PM  
Martheme said...

My mother always taught us only to give what we can afford to be without and that once you give it, don't look back.

That way, what ever you give, stuff, time or money you really do just let go of and don't fret what the person who got it does with it.

Personally, I think you are brave taking on a remodel at this point (we're having our bath done and it's taking forever!)

I'm glad you blocked her and hopefully thats an end to it. Just know the rest of us are in your corner!

July 08, 2007 4:02 PM  
martha marques said...

The very best situation for coping with cancer for me was to have a daybed in the large sunny kitchen with easy access to the bathroom. Complete the kitchen redo and get yourself a nice kitchen couch.....that's my recommendation. The red convertible is lovely, by the way, and I have added it to my list of future projects. Is there anyway we can add a contribution to the purchase of your upcoming book release?

July 08, 2007 4:04 PM  
Lyndsey-Jane said...

I was thinking of writing a post on my blog about this but agree with Amy, this person doesn't deserve the time or energy it would take. They can never be changed and it is best to try and forget the awful things they said. Also it is you want to spend the money on a vacation, in my eyes it would be fine. After everything you've been (and are about go through) you deserve a break. It is important to look after yourself as much as it is to look after Gerry. I took part in the today and walked in honour of Gerry! I may be the other side of the ocean but in my small way I hope this helps to reserve the damage Mrs X has caused you both.

July 08, 2007 4:09 PM  
Carmen said...

Oh Annie, as if you both needed this! Mrs X needs to change her glasses and see the real thing. Heavens! Your family is in our thoughts. May wellness come knocking on your door!!!


July 08, 2007 4:21 PM  
Anonymous said...


What everyone else said. Just know there are tons of people thinking of you and Gerry and the kids who have been through similar crap and are pulling for you and thinking only good things. Do what needs to be done for your well being and call it a day.
Mrs. Jackass is a wart on the world's butt and you have been far too nice about the whole thing. You're done now!


July 08, 2007 4:31 PM  
rho said...

I am glad you used block on the email address from this person you don't need added stress at this time -- btw if you feel that the best uses of MY donation is to take the whole family out for fun time to get ice cream in this time of stress - feel free to do that or anything else you feel the need to do with it :D Those things in my humble opinion are as important as all the rest.

July 08, 2007 4:34 PM  
Paula said...

Annie, Again you handle this with true grace. As I stated yesterday, please use my gift(s) for anything at all. No strings attached. I give freely so that you and your family can be free from stress as much as possible. Even small amounts can do great things, and I know whatever we give is greatly appreciated.

Your email when I bought the pattern brought a smile and a laugh. That is a priceless gift in return, and I thank you for that.

I hope you can soon let this go and move on with everything you need to do for your family and your sanity.

Oh! Be sure to request a handicapped room when you reserve it for the BMT. Much easier to get around for Gerry.

Wishing your lovely family a laugh filled week.

July 08, 2007 5:01 PM  
Helen said...

Oh Annie, I wish I could give you a hug and pour you a drink. I like the one about burning the pain as fuel for the journey. Remember, the people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind.

July 08, 2007 5:04 PM  
Elise H. said...

Dear Annie:
I am sorry that on top of the pain your family must endure, you have been put into further pain and anguish. Shame on that woman for causing pain.

I was reminded of the 8 levels of charity set forth by Maimonides. As you may know, in Judaism we often talk about "Tzedakah," which traditionally means "charity" but in reality means Justice. I found this information somewhere on the web (trying to give credit here) and hope that it will make you feel better:

Maimonides began with the lowest form of giving and moved up to the highest form:

Level Eight: Giving grudgingly, with a sour countenance.
Level Seven: Giving less than you can afford, but doing so pleasantly.
Level Six: Giving generously, but only after being asked.
Level Five: Giving before you are asked.
Level Four: The recipient knows the giver, but the giver does not know the recipient.
Level Three: The giver knows the recipient, but the recipient does not know the giver.
Level Two: Giving anonymously, where the recipient does not know the giver and vice versa.
Level One: Helping someone become self-sufficient.

The most basic need of a human being is to feel needed and capable. Thus, the highest form of tzedakah is to help someone find a job or set them up in business. (Or to help them live their life with dignity---says Elise). This preserves their dignity, and at the same time transforms them from being a recipient into one with the capacity to give to others.
Tzedakah is actually a cycle -- the gifts that we give to others will eventually return to us. Furthermore, G-d is acutely tuned in to our small acts of goodness and kindness. Our acts of giving stimulate G-d's blessings to shower down upon all of us, the giver and the receiver alike.

July 08, 2007 5:13 PM  
knitbysue said...

Annie, so sorry that there are some nasty people out there... it is one of the reasons that I don't blog. There are so many warm, kind generous people out there that it is easy to forget that a blog is totally in the public eye and a few mean, unbalanced folks who will misunderstand what you are blogging about will read your blog also.
You are in a single-income household with a seriously ill spouse... you'd think people would give you a break. You do need a bathroom on the main floor.
I think you did a fine job of explaining things. I hope you can forget about Ms. Nasty.

July 08, 2007 6:00 PM  
fritzl said...

It takes great courage to ask for help, and it is a mitzvah for us to help you out. Maybe one day, one of us will need help. You give with love, and someday someone gives back to you or yours with love.
Don't waste time on the Twerp! She's not worth it.
Ruth in NJ

July 08, 2007 6:13 PM  
Tana said...

Annie, I am so sorry you have to go through this. It's one thing to question something, it's another to get nasty about it. I know it's so hard to not be able to share this with anyone in real life. I've been there and it's the pits. Your integrity stands - you have nothing to worry about there. If people choose to be nasty and not see it, well, bygones to them. Hang in there, my dear!


July 08, 2007 6:13 PM  
...e... said...

yeah, it's never a good idea to tangle with spammers, or what we used to call flamers. that's all this broad is, after all, but sometimes it's hard to recpgnize them, especially when they're flaming *you*. umtil they succeed in making your situation all about then, as this one has done; then the game's over.

July 08, 2007 6:37 PM  
knitintensity said...

Looks like others who got here before me said all the wise things, but I'll just add


And yes, the thunder has reached us here in the south too. It should be cooler later in the week. Thank goodness!

July 08, 2007 7:31 PM  
angie said...

To be honest, the question of your renovations never came into my mind. If I wasn't broke at the moment, I would donate whatever I could to you and your family. No questions, no strings, no qualms.

July 08, 2007 8:20 PM  
knitting chaos said...

Good Lord, I can't believe that someone would keep e-mailing you after you gave her money back and further explained what was going on. She is just an idiot. You are right to block her.
I am glad you all went up to Duluth and had a good time. It is important that when illness hits a family that they take time to relax and have a good time together.
Take care of yourself and of Gerry.

July 08, 2007 8:43 PM  
Kate said...


I don't comment much, but I have been reading your blog, and particularly your family's experiences with Gerry's illness. I am so sorry you've had to deal with harsh comments and a poor attitude about giving; that sort of attitude is the very reason my mother never asked anyone for help after my father died. She said it was easier for her to go hungry than have someone think she was trying to fool people.

I admire your dedication to keeping your family as whole and joyful as possible, and I send my best wishes for you all. And oh yeah, when I can donate, I'd like it very much if you took my donation and put it toward some cheerful paint for your kitchen ;) Having your family together is *so* important when dealing with a crisis; I can't imagine begrudging someone the chance to spend every moment with a loved one during an illness.

July 08, 2007 9:14 PM  
Grace Yaskovic said...

Annie, you are loved--

July 08, 2007 9:16 PM  
Amanda said...

Don;t you just *love* how some people think that their ability to communicate via the internet gives them the right to judge and abuse others? Yeah, me too.
I think you are doing the right thing by addressing this. Now, however, is the time to block her emails (since she clearly has no self control or ability to LET IT EFFIN' GO) and ignore her.
Although a reminder might be in order that there are, in fact, legal repercussions to defaming someone's character, whether in print or online.

July 08, 2007 9:28 PM  
benne said...


Who could question you doing anything to spare Gerry more pain? I don't think I want to know that person. It must be a terrible life to have such bitterness. The renovation is not a luxury, it's a necessity for Gerry. End of story. I frankly don't care one whit how you use my donations. Whatever improves the quality of life for your family is okay by me.

A positive outlook is crucial for you and your family right now, so let go of the negativity that came from your encounter with a callous heart. Know that many more people than those of us who posted are holding your family in loving, caring hearts. As someone else said, we're here for the long haul.

July 08, 2007 9:37 PM  
knotology said...

Isn't it interesting how people pass judgment and lecture from a moral high ground while behaving so poorly themselves?

Strike that, it's not interesting, it's maddening.

Good for you for blocking her, nothing deflates a psycho like being ignored! Good luck!

July 08, 2007 10:28 PM  
Anonymous said...

I, too, was reminded of the 8 levels of charity set forth by Maimonides.
(and of GBS--and the lovely little essay in Pygmalian about the undeserving poor and how they too need charity--to have a bob or two in their pockets to buy a pint, or place a wager on a pony)

I wish I was in a financial situtation to help you. I can't give money, but please, accept my prayers and thoughts, and know you are not alone.

enjoy the gifts you have been given.. the good, with the bad. Cancer tries not only the body, but the soul. and if what is required to get throught the day is a wasteful hour, or an indulgent icecream or vacation, that is what is needed.

Don't let this one person rob you of the joy of recieving.

there is no charity, with out recieving. your being open to accepting is an important part of charity. Do it gladly, and gracefully. accept what is offered, and enjoy it.

accept, as you accept the reality of your life, your children's life, and gerry's life.
allow us the pleasuree of doing for you.

July 08, 2007 11:45 PM  
Kathie said...

Oh Annie, please don't lie awake at night fretting over this. Some people will just never "get it" no matter how you explain it (in fact, some are determined *not* to get it). Anyone who's read your blog long enough (or attentively enough) knows that you are not the type of person to take advantage of others' generosity. Please don't let allow this person to gain one more minute of your attention or worry - she's had enough!

July 09, 2007 12:41 AM  
Yarn Thing said...

What can I say that hasn't already been said? Not much really. Other than...What color is your kitchen gonna be?

Hey, thought I would change the subject to something fun...and what more fun is there than picking colors (for paint or yarn)?

I hope you are feeling better about this whole thing. If you are anything like me...comments made by Mrs. X eat at you and keep you up at night...DON'T LET IT!

Obviously, you are loved and don't forget that.

Marly aka Yarn Thing

July 09, 2007 1:09 AM  
Arianne said...

You have my full support. I think it's a crying shame that this is happening.
You have enough to be dealing with at the moment without all of this on top.
Just know that for every awful e-mail there are a hundred of us out here who care, and are cheering for you, and sending you wishes for love and hope and happiness...

This Mrs. X is obviously dealing with some problems of her own...she feels cheated in some way and I doubt it has much to do with you or anything you've said...You've been so clear from the start about what the money was for, and you stated explicitly that you would not be wasteful or ungrateful with people's generosity and kindness. But not everyone can back down once they've got egg on their face...and even if she got the wrong end of the stick you've more than cleared up the kitchen issue. Sending 8 hateful e-mails to you and also to your friends is just...completely out of line. And I think that's probably an indicator that this woman has other things going on...
It's not you. Just walk away...

From the rest of us:
We love you and we're behind you, 100%.

July 09, 2007 5:25 AM  
Arianne said...

Oh! I forgot to add that you are free to use my donation to buy yourself a star-spangled catsuit and a flaming twirling baton to march down main street in if you so please. should use the donations for whatever you and your family feel is best...there are so many things that you need right's not up to us to decide what they are! (Though I'd like to think that it is up to us to help you get them!)

July 09, 2007 5:41 AM  
knitncycle said...

Good on you for blocking her! She has her money back, the horse is buried and now you can move on. Take care Annie!!

July 09, 2007 7:18 AM  
Mary Ann Forehand said...

Hey Annie;

You go girl! Very nicely put and I am sure much more kind than I would be inclined to be. Also pretty should write a book...oh yeah, you have. You have enough zipping through your mind without this clogging it up. MsX...don't make me get out my needles! Love, Mary Ann

July 09, 2007 8:39 AM  
Amie said...

Glad to hear you've blocked Mrs. X. She's had her say and opportunity to say she was displeased. Enough is enough. She doesn't deserve the opportunity to keep you up another night.

July 09, 2007 8:45 AM  
Mary Ann Forehand said...

P. S. Don't you dare send me a thank you note! Spend the time on the new book so I can get it ASAP! Mary Ann

July 09, 2007 8:50 AM  
Carol said...

Quite frankly, I am apalled at the nerve of the woman to continue to harass you about this. You gave her the money back. That should have been the end of it! I read your blog regularly and have thought you were quite clear that the reno was so that Gerry could live in the house with the rest of the family rather than being exiled upstairs! Do not continue to beat up on yourself. You did the right thing by giving her back the money, she has no right to continue this line of thought.

July 09, 2007 8:52 AM  
Lisa said...

OMG! You are way more gracious than I would be in your place. I am in awe of your strength. What an awfully harsh woman Mrs.X is. Perhaps her care giving experiences have left her bitter but that is no reason for her to attack your integrity. As always, you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

July 09, 2007 9:06 AM  
Erica said...

I've been hanging around the knitting blog-iverse for a few years now and I've come across several calls for donation like this to personal causes. What comes between me and my ultimate decision to give money is my better judgement and common sense. So far its led me to give to this cause and one other.

You frequently meet with your fans and fellow knitters face to face when you teach classes and your income depends on having a good working reputation in the knitting/publishing anyone with common sense would know that you're sincere.

I'm appalled at this woman's admitted lack of common sense. She did, after all, refer to herself and others as suckers, right?

If she really cared enough to donate and still wasn't comfortable donating to you directly, could she not donate to Multiple Myeloma research in some way? Knit Gerry a scarf? Send a care package for the trip to Rochester? I mean, she seriously couldn't think of any other way to help that was comfortable for her?

I'm rambling, but I guess trying to figure out how in the world she can claim SHE is the victim here. When she is in fact a victim of zero common sense and/or serious anger issues.

Good thoughts for you and the family, you're all too good for this mess and deserve every comfort and luxury possible.

July 09, 2007 9:22 AM  
PJ in NY said...

Annie when thinking of this email episode with Mrs X remember President Lincoln's quotes (he was a very wise man).

"Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be." Abraham Lincoln "

"What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself."
Abraham Lincoln

Now - what color scheme have you chosen for your kitchen? What color will the cabinets be? Can you fit a shower in the bathroom somehow? What color will the bathroom be? When is the work scheduled to begin? Let's roll on to the "good stuff".

And Annie, you spend your money any way you want. Period. Remember there are so many people in your corner cheering your family on in all of it's endevors.

July 09, 2007 10:09 AM  
Gina said...

I've had alittle bit of experience with nasty bloggers before, and Mrs. X is loving the fact you're so upset and blogging about her. She wants nothing more than you worrying about her. She is a jealous, bitter woman, Leave her in the dust.

July 09, 2007 10:10 AM  
valéria said...

Dear annie,

you know?? I'm so glad that i've donated and my thoughts are with you all. I've a candle burning right here for you and gerry and the kids and i really hope that you go on the way you do!! You do it right!!! I'm so very sorry that you've to go through this thing with mrs X. but you may also think that's ok now. You've explained everything and it's ok.

We say here, when you get your head above the cornfield it will chopped off as like when you stand out (and you do!!) there always will be someone who will try to make you feel less or bad about yourself. And annie, please don't it says so much more about the one who's chopping then about you.

You KNOW better

I know and i think a lot off other people also.

Sending you a big, huge, very big enormous big hug and good thoughts!!! love

July 09, 2007 10:12 AM  
Jen said...

I am sorry for the terrible behaviour of this woman, who does not seem to realize that a gift releases her from controlling the money, or that possibly your judgment in this situation is better than hers, or that maybe she can afford to be extra gracious because she does not have cancer. Possibly she'll learn that in life, but I doubt you will be the one to teach her the lesson. Move on, and trust your friends and blog readers enough to know we believe the best about you and won't be swayed by a resentful, non-cheerful giver.


July 09, 2007 10:56 AM  
Anonymous said...

You need to put a shower that is large enough that it can have a shower seat in that new bathroom and with handrails. It will be a Godsend for your husband. And, goodness, with your kids tramping in messy from back yard play it will be worthwhile and save fuss/muss. A simple, large shower is in order. Who needs to navigate stairs if there is a first floor shower.

Forget the negative woman. Just forget it. Go drink a diet coke and have some fun. After that cook up a dynamite pattern!

Hugs and kisses, Kate

July 09, 2007 11:20 AM  
Anonymous said...

That lady needs to chill.

You don't need this stress.

We're all with you.

July 09, 2007 11:20 AM  
Leslie said...

I didn't send the angry at that jerk comment I had all written out last week but please, Annie, don't let this person get to you. You're doing the right thing by going along with the kitchen reno (although I agree with PJ in NY that it would be great if you could squeeze in a shower - look at the bathroom designs in small campers, one where you could sit on the commode with a hand held shower maybe??).

You and Gerry need to put yourselves and the kids first for a bit and you, Annie, need to cut yourself some slack. Don't let every whiney little small brained and small souled person make you feel guilty because YOU ARE NOT BAD OR TRYING TO CHEAT ANYONE.

Know you are loved and cared for. As soon as the 15th gets here I'll be sending my donation - no pattern please :)

July 09, 2007 11:24 AM  
Cheesy Knit Wit said...

See how much support you have? Nevermind the cranky person. That's her problem to deal with, and trying to make you wear a coat of guilt is just bunk.


July 09, 2007 11:27 AM  
Anonymous said...

Annie ~ I, too, am so sorry that, at a time like this, this woman feels the need to put you through this. Karma will take care of her.
You have handled yourself with dignity and graciousness and for that I stand in awe of your character. You are truly supported and cared about. I hope that Gerry is in the 10% and does beat the odds. Whatever happens, I'm glad that you have found a solution to keeping him with the family. Because in the end, that is all we have.
I hope that all of our combined donations give you the security to spend time with Gerry and your children; and to handle whatever ending this comes to.

If you cannot give graciously, don't give at all!

Hugs, Amber

July 09, 2007 11:48 AM  
kmkat said...

After reading all about Mrs. X and her nastiness I went right over there to the sidebar and bought your pattern. Take that, Mrs. X!

btw, I entered the raffle @ Main Street Knits (Yarns? don't remember) for you a while ago instead of buying your pattern because, as gorgeous as the Red Convertible is, I knew I would never wear it. But now I see your instructions have a size range that is even larger than I -- A Woman Of Substance, i.e., one who *outgrew* her size 12 clothes a l-o-n-g time ago -- require. Way to go, you! Will I knit this and wear it? Who knows, but knowing that I COULD is a wonderful gift you have given me, and I thank you.

Remember this: as depressing as it was for you to deal with Mrs. X (and the dead horse in the street -- I love that metaphor!), think how truly awful it is to BE her.

And enjoy the cooler weather! I'm only 75 miles away so I was suffering with you last week and rejoicing Sunday afternoon when the cool front moved in. Blessings and good vibes and {{{{{hugs}}}}} to you and your family.

July 09, 2007 11:51 AM  
Debbie said...

Oh good lord, what a frenzy that became. Personally, I think it was good of you to address her concerns because others probably were wondering too.

Hopefully that will be the very end of having to justify why it is important to create a downstairs bathroom. You really have enough going on in your life without having to keep that drum beating.

As for me, use my donation for travel, food, utilities, a new commode or a bottle for a stiff drink! I don't care because I know my little donation will do good where ever you need it to go.

July 09, 2007 11:57 AM  
PICAdrienne said...

I helped a friend through a cosmetic update of her bathroom. There is a type of grout that can be used that has an epoxy in it. It is a pain in the NECK to use. However, it lasts wonderfully well when exposed to standing water (kids anyone???) and cleans like a dream (household anyone???) If you are going to use any tile I highly recommend using it. I can't recall the name right off the top of my head, but do recall you can buy add-ins that makes the grout glow in the dark. It was the only product I saw that had that little feature. (Grown up woman's bathroom, we didn't get the glow in the dark mix in.)

As I stated previously, I have faith and confidence you will use the funds wisely.

One question, I will probably not ever make the full length, or even dress length version of the pattern. Proportionally, how much yarn would someone need for the hip length? I am guessing around the 25% mark, is that accurate? (If it is in the pattern, just smack me upside the head, and tell me where,) Thanks!


July 09, 2007 12:33 PM  
Anonymous said...

Hay Anniegirl.....

Speaking of the bathroom. My mom brought me a handheld shower, when she stayed over to help me with post cancer recovery.

That was one of the most helpful things I found.

So if you decide to put in a shower, this might be the best idea. You might also consider a drain in the floor. That way any overflow (shower or washer) will stay in there and not in the kitchen.

Also what about a nice banquette that can be used as a day bed? Double use and all that.

Will you also let us know when the rose shawl pattern is available?

I look forward to making it.

Hope that you and yours are having a lovely day.

Tina Rose

July 09, 2007 12:57 PM  
Anonymous said...

Dear Annie and all:

During an RE (Religious Education) class at church, the discussion turned to people asking for (monetary) help, and one of the children asked: "How do you know if they really need it, or what they are going to do with the money?" And a wise man quoted his (wise) mother "It is not up to us to decide who really needs anything. We will know we have helped enough when no one has to ask."

It takes strength to both ask for help and to answer, and when I find myself questioning anyone's plea, or request, for any kind of help -- including my own -- I remember this discussion.

In love and light,

July 09, 2007 2:01 PM  
Shelly Stilger said...

I don't know that I have anything to add to this discussion; everyone else has been so eloquent. But I want to say that the light of your integrity, Annie, is far-reaching. You lit up the center of the continental US, and I'm thankful for it!

July 09, 2007 2:32 PM  
PJ in Minneapolis said...

Um...I thought it said 'the kind of days where women in corsets used to faint and horses would drop their standards.'

So I was hoping for more about horses' standards...

Love you lots and lots!

July 09, 2007 2:52 PM  
Claire said...


As far as I am concerned, you can spend any donation I make on sky blue pink with yellow dots on spangles and throw them out of the window. Take care of you and yours, and do whatever it takes to look after your family - you are the best judge of that. If I give, I do so without any strings. You know what best to use it for. There's plenty of things I agree or disagree with in this world, but no matter. Your patterns have given me pleasure - did you give me that with strings?

Take care, all the best, and hope things are good today.


Claire in Newcastle xxxxx

July 09, 2007 2:55 PM  
n. said...

The good thing is that Mrs.X's negativity inspired at least two of us, if not more, to donate ;)

You have my blessing to use the money I donated for whatever you see fit.


July 09, 2007 3:31 PM  
Knitting Linguist said...

Oh, Annie -- I'm so sorry that you have been getting these emails; I'm guessing it's made looking at your inbox the kind of thing that causes stomach aches. I hate email bombs. I've been out of town (dealing with family illness), and haven't been reading until today, or I would have sent supportive thoughts and comments sooner! I'm particularly sorry that you are in the position of justifying adding a bathroom (it must feel so difficult to have to share your remodel plans from a sense of obligation rather than out of joy that it's finally happening, and that things will finally be easier around the house!). I had back surgery last summer, and it was so incredibly amazing NOT to have to go up and down stairs while I was recovering; you need to do this for the mental and emotional health of your family. It will be so important in the months to come for it to be easy for Gerry to be part of the coming and going of the household. I know you know that, but you should know that other people know it, too :) Hang in there...

July 09, 2007 3:59 PM  
Ruth Spears said...

As my mom used to say, Ignor the source. Ms. Jackass has no conception of what you are facing. A gift should be freely given - even money. Once it's given, it's no longer yours to control. That is that!!

Hang in there.

July 09, 2007 4:16 PM  
Amy V said...

Amen to kate and knitmongrel: not all people are rational and use my money for whatever you think is right!
I hope that if anything good can come out of this cancer it will be more precious memories of times with your family.
Take care,
Amy V

July 09, 2007 4:52 PM  
Lauren said...

"A gift should be freely given - even money. Once it's given, it's no longer yours to control."

Isn't this what our mother's taught us?

Continue to take good care of your family ... every day is precious.

The bathroom is a great idea, if you can do it, and a shower with a seat would make it more comfortable.

Rest and eating well are important for Gerry ... and you and the kids too.

July 09, 2007 9:05 PM  
Anonymous said...

You know, when you posted her first comment, I thought she had a legitimate point - I could understand why she might feel concerned after reading about kitchen remodels. But to keep hammering at you after you explained the situation, and threaten you, well, that's just over the top. You "refunded" her donation - at that point, she had absolutely no reason to bombard you with vituperation.

I'm keeping fingers, toes and eyes crossed that Gerry's BMT works for him.

July 09, 2007 9:14 PM  
susanc said...


I am speechless. How sad that she felt the need to send such nasty emails after you had refunded her donation. I just sat shaking my head while reading this this evening. I'm so sorry you had to deal with this on top of everything else. Just know there are so many people out here in cyberspace who support you and are doing what they can for you and your family. I guess there's always one in every crowd.

Keep your chin up. You handled the situation with grace, as always. As another blogger wrote:

I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I wish there was more I could do for you.


July 09, 2007 9:59 PM  
Pam said...

I usually don't use harsh words but ..what an ass. Judging by the response, you have so many friends and support please let this fall right out of your thoughts and concentrate on your family and yourself.

July 09, 2007 10:29 PM  
Beverley said...

HI Annie

What a very courgeous post!

Unfortunately in this "small" world in which we live there are always people who "get the wrong end of the stick" or get upset at nothing.

So sorry you have had this experience to add to all your other stresses at this time.

I had always understood that the renovation was because of Gerry's illness and I have only "discovered" your blog recently. Having had simallr problems to you in the past all I can say is that as long as you stay true to yourself you will be OK.

Your "trueness" and honestly have always shone throught to us in your writting so try to think of all the positiveness coming your way. It may help with the negativity of a few.

Thinking of you often.

Knit on >^..^<

July 09, 2007 10:30 PM  
Anonymous said...

Dear Mrs. X,

We are all going to pray for you that you are healed from whatever has hurt you so badly that you became such a suspicious, mean spirited, vendictive person.

And Annie, you are a class act. Continue to share this with your online family because we care and we'll be here to hear it as many times as you need to bend our collective ears.

"And this too shall pass..."

July 09, 2007 10:48 PM  
Marsha said...

And she probably agrees with Ann Coulter too...

A gift with strings is no gift.

July 10, 2007 12:12 AM  
cathyannhenry said...

This whole sequence of events is so bizarre. Mrs. X shouldn't judge or second guess Annie, and while I disagree with her behavior, I live in a glass house myself, and I know that I have done things and made comments in my lifetime that I regret and of which I am ashamed.

I came across this quote recently, and it's sort of my new motto for life: "Be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." We rarely know anyone else's back story. It's time to stop judging and move on--all of us.

July 10, 2007 8:32 AM  
Long Haired Spider said...

Argh. It's a great pattern, and it's worth every penny I paid for it :)

July 10, 2007 8:39 AM  
Jamina said...


You have no idea who I am, but you have been an inspiration to me as a knitter and a person for quite some time now. My husband had Hodgkin's lymphoma about 7 years ago at age 23, and I know how scary it can be. Please know that so many people have Gerry and your whole family in their thoughts and prayers.

As long as you know that your intentions are good, that's what matters. Those who don't think they are don't have to donate.

July 10, 2007 9:18 AM  
Anonymous said...

Mrs. X is probably a nasty, hormonal, closet drinker on a bender...LOL!! Just trying to lighten things up! I'd go shopping for that new kitchen today, and give your family a big hug.

Now it's all off your chest, and you can have a good night's sleep.

July 10, 2007 11:35 AM  
KnitWit said...

Annie: It's a shame that your family was faced with such negativity. I don't know if I'll ever knit the entire dress; I think it will make a most-lovely top, though!

It's time to move on now...What's done is done, and your energies need to be focused on Gerry and the family.

Please remember to rest yourself as well. It's difficult dealing with cancer (my dad died of pancreatic/liver cancer) and it's also difficult dealing with any chronic condition. And sometimes, our families suffer because there isn't enough of "us" to go around.

Please don't forget that creativity springs from a rested, calm mind and body. You will continue to do what you do best; but remember to recharge your own batteries!

All the best!


July 10, 2007 1:27 PM  
Cheryl :) said...

Karma baby--- what goes around comes around. Friends are the family we aren't stuck with, and we are here for you anytime my friend.

July 10, 2007 2:03 PM  
Anonymous said...

my prayers are with your family.
it sounds to me,that illness or trauma has never been at this woman's doorstep.Linda/pineknott

July 10, 2007 5:24 PM  
susan cahn said...

I only hope that Mrs. X uses the refunded money to go towards a facelift....I can only imagine how old and haggard her face must look with an attitude like that! Annie, I am so sorry that on top of everything else, you had to have some nasty, *&&#^$*&^#$^&$&*( woman get sassy with are loved, respected and admired. You have done the knitting community proud by standing up for yourself and your family! I'll come and install the toilet!! Lots of love and thoughts! Susan from Knit-a-Bit in sweltering NJ!!

July 10, 2007 6:38 PM  
Judy said...

Hey Annie! I'm sorry to hear you've had added stress when you've already got so much going on. I only hope the positive feelings from the rest of us can help overcome the negativity you've had to face.

Hey...will you need a painting party during the renovations? I'd be happy to drive up from Rochester and wield a paintbrush (or sand, or tape, or whatever needs doing).

Oh's getting to be that time of year...lock your car doors and keep the porch locked--the zucchini are ripening and I'd hate for you to be the victim of a drive-by zucchini-ing. It's a Minnesota thing. :D

Judy in Rochester, MN

July 10, 2007 9:05 PM  
Saints and Sinners said...

good god people must be really really really bored.........

THANK YOU for the the balls to bring this out in the open. Too many people wouldn't and it would just eat them up inside. I for one am ALL about cleaning up the shit, especially when someone is throwing it directly at you.
I can only imagine how this woman could read ANY of your blog and then come to the conclusion you taking some LUSH vacations and home renovations. Its VERY evident you have a sick husband and am doing your best to keep him, yourself and your family healthy, happy and having the best life you can. If I gave you 20 dollars, I don't care if you buy medicine, buy icecream or use it to scoop the litterbox. When you give something, give it FREELY.

I don't know HOW MANY people I've known in my lifetime who have been sick and had to have some kind of home remodel-probably over 50. From wheelchair ramps, widening doorways, taking out tubs and putting in showers, changing door handles to levers, etc.....Thats just a fact of life sometime when you have a health problem-you have to ADJUST your home to fit your physical needs.

Don't let these negative things get to you. There is ALWAYS gonna be people out there who are bitter, jealous and miserable and only feel good if they can 'bring someone down to their level'.

Surround yourself with people who will lift you higher, not hold you down.

Take care, I hope will be well and I wish I could donate marrow for you hubby-if I matched, I'd be there will bells on.

July 10, 2007 11:39 PM  
Marin said...

It takes all kinds to roll the world. Some days, it'd be nice if the one kind didn't infringe on the other kind's personal space.

July 11, 2007 7:57 PM  
Keri said...


I'm so sorry this happened. Having been in the caregiver's seat, knowing we might lose our house my husband being an independent consultant with no disability insurance and yet, continuing to fall further and further into debt as I stayed at home with him...

Sometimes you just walk away and realize that they will not understand. I'm glad to read that you blocked her. GOOD FOR YOU! There are far more important places for you to focus your energy, as you well know.

All the best...


July 12, 2007 12:09 AM  
Meaghan said...

You give because you want to give and you help because you want to help. I have to wonder what movtivates this person. Even though we don't know each other, my heart goes out to you, both for your husband's health and because you have to deal with this rubbish. You've given me so much enjoyment and inspiration that offering a tiny donation was the least I could do (and let's face it, not much when it comes down to it). Forget about this mean spirited person and remember that you have many friends you've never met - even over here in Australia. Take care.

July 12, 2007 1:50 AM  
Sarah said...

I just wanted to say that I don't think you owe anybody anything- least of all, an explaination to that lady. A gift is just that, a gift. One who gives a gift and then feels they are owed are not truly giving a gift, and those who give a gift and feel they can tell the recipient what to do with it are selfish- and that is the kindest word I could think of.
When I knit gifts for others- especially for non-knitters, I try and give it with an open heart. If the gift is worn out and ruined from extensive use or if it is deemed to precious to see the light of day and gets tucked in a drawer- that is the business of the recipient, not the giver.
That's all.
Thinking of your family.

July 12, 2007 11:06 AM  
Dana said...

I know I'm helping keep a dead horse alive, but I'm always a day or two behind, since I don't check all the blogs as regularly as I'd like to. Having met you in person (recently in Michigan) I perceive you as honest, forthright, generous, and very grounded. I think you have handled this whole thing with class and dignity and your strength and good intentions will help you persevere in all you set out to accomplish. I'm sorry you feel the need to justify or itemize your needs and your expenses. How tedious, in light of all you need to be doing. Hang in there, there are more of us for you than against you, you can count on that! Good luck!

July 12, 2007 11:17 AM  
Cynthia said...

I have been out of the loop (in my little Fibro fog) and I have just finished your post. Holy crap, some people are just so mean, so demeaning and so fucking miserable.

Clearly she (and anyone else who bitched, gossiped or passed on sniping comments about your situation) is not happy with her own life.

I gave, without hesitation, because you need support. Period. It was my choice to give. Period. In giving I believe it is in your hands to figure out how to best use the money. You want to put Italian marble in the front hallway because it will give your hubby some measure of pleasure - GO FOR IT!

I hate to think that you feel you have to justify your self (or you feel any shame), or live your life in a manner less than what you need to do right now because you feel you are obligated to 'report.'

Good God, we are all adults. Having lived through a couple of close terminal illnesses all I can say is seize the day Annie. Live it large.

My heart aches for all the nastiness that exists out there.

In honour of Mrs. X and all her bitchy crones I think I will send you another donation as soon as my next cheque comes in the mail - fuck em!

July 12, 2007 2:36 PM  
Julie Arnheim said...

I have known Annie and Gerry for, gosh, I can hardly believe this, since 1994.

I knew them before they were parents. I was at Hannah's baby naming in Brooklyn. I spent time with them when Max was an infant in New Jersey.

When I went through my divorce, they held their arms open and were wonderfully warm, caring, compassionate and all you could every want friends to be at what seems like 'the worst time in your life".

I understand that in this day and age of crooked politicians, identity theft, con-artists, etc. people may be skeptical of a 'non-taxable donation' or why it seems like one one hand they are asking for money and on the other hand renovating a house.

HOWEVER, Annie and Gerry are INCREDIBLE people. And there is not one iota of doubt in my mind that their pain is real, that this situation is as humbling as it is and as scary as Annie writes.

I tip my hat to her. It is not easy to be a caregiver, a mother, and a breadwinner. It is not easy to post your inner most thoughts, feelings, fears, laughs, loves, emotions etc on the internet for the entire world to see. It is not easy to protect your family. It is not easy to admit 'you need help'.

Annie, I have always admired you. Today, I can not sit and not say how proud I am to know you and to be able to say I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

July 12, 2007 11:21 PM  
Chrissie Day said...

Annie Hi we may be in competition with our books but honest if there is anything I can do to help from over the pond please let me know .love Chrissie

July 24, 2007 6:58 PM  
Lori said...

Hi Annie, My name is Lori and I am not unlike you in that I am a mom with two beautiful children, a normal life, a passion for knitting and creating and someone we love sick in our lives. This is no small task... I wanted to say that I don't come about being someone "fan" very easily, however, you have a wonderful way about you when you design and explain the way you knit that it inspires me to press on. As far as comments made on your blog that are negative - consider the source. She doesn't know you, she offered her help, so there should be no questions asked. Please don't lose sleep at night over trivial comments made from an individual who doesn't know you. I am enamored with your fantastic knitting skills and your enthusiasm and maybe even brilliance in the way you use needles, but you don't have to prove anything to anyone. I hope life gets better and better for you - you have a lot of talent that I look forward to enjoying in the future.

July 26, 2007 11:23 AM  

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