Hold the Mayo
At the Mayo there are signs all over the place that if you're sneezing or coughing, STAY AWAY.
I appreciate these signs - it will be only a short time until Gerry's undergoing his high-dose chemo, and will be susceptible to all kinds of viruses.
But I woke up with a pretty strong sneezing, coughing, headachy cold this morning - I had a headache as I went to bed, I though it was the thunderstorms - but it's turned into a full flown chest cold. Lots of coughing.
Maybe I picked something up, or maybe it's the stress & smokey room (which is much better now!) but I'm going to take it easy for a day or so. Luckily, there's a 5 day break while we wait for final approval from Gerry's insurance company, so during this time I'll be entirely away from Mayo until Thursday, when Gerry begins getting his growth hormone to create more stem cells.
FREEDOM
Gerry's taking advantage of this by driving over to a grocery store - I think he's relishing just being out alone, something he's not done in weeks, and something everyone needs.
He's feeling better than he has in months, so if he wants to get out and enjoy himself on his own for a bit - all the better!
He walked in while I was writing this - yay - why I should be worried when he's out I don't know. I guess it's a learned behavior that I'll have to break myself of when we're back home and he's getting better and better.
Last night on one of the MM sites he visits a fellow announced that his wife just lost her MM battle after 3 years. It was a somber moment when Gerry told me - and, of course, we asked each other, "Was she taking the drugs I am?", "Did she have a BMT?" But this is, after all is said and done, a very individualistic disease.
So if he wants to run around buying staplers, laundry soap and small tripods (he's creating a video diary of his experience) then bless him. Any small autonomy is good.
WIND
We drove over to Otawanna yesterday to do some shopping, we needed to pick up some hardware stuff, look at ceiling fans (we still hadn't found the right one for our kitchen) and - let's face it - we were going a little stir crazy. We just needed to get out.
On the drive the weather was very odd - dark clouds in front of us with lightning flashing - but sunny where we were. The sun seemed to follow us - even when we headed into a brief shower, we were in the sun.
We drove past a wind farm - Gerry'd never seen one before, I'd seen the small one in Pennsylvania last year. When we were in Duluth we saw the huge fan blades and other parts for these - they're absolutely huge. To see so many at a time is a little breathtaking.
In Owatanna we also visited the outlet malls - why not? - and I found some linen pants and tops which I'd been looking for on super-duper no-one-wants-us reduction of $12.25 each.
Now I have a pair of linen pants and a top to wear to appointments so I don't look like a tourist at a theme park in shorts & a t shirt.
If Mayo's trying so hard to look nice for us, we should return the favor, n'est ce pas?
I haven't bought summer clothes in a long time. With my teaching curtailed this summer there was no need. But I want to look good for Gerry, and I need to get some halfway decent looking stuff for France.
Until Gerry gets his central line put in for the chemo (a direct line into his chest so he won't need repeated needle sticks in his arm), he'll be able to get into the pool and I think it would be VERY good for to build some strength in his bones. Moving around in a more weightless environment. So we picked up a bathing suit that will actually FIT him at Cabela's ($8!) and explored the magic that is a venison cafeteria.
LEARNED BEHAVIOR?
I have always been a 'door holder' - we know who we are. We rush to open a door for someone who needs it, and end up holding it for many, many folks. I don't mind - it gives me something to do and, as I tell the folks who walk by thanking me, now I have a second career. Doormen (people?) can earn good money if they're in a good union.
Very rarely someone neglects to thank me - it's so unusual that it's notable. As we were leaving one shop at the outlet mall yesterday and I held the door open for Gerry, another guy walked through, then another guy, then a third youngish, physically healthy specimen strolled by.
The odd thing was that this guy had two daughters, around 5 or 6, and they followed him out. Perhaps I just seemed like part of the landscape at that point, but not only did he not nod, thank or even acknowledge me, he just assumed I'd hold the door open for his daughters (which, of course, I did!)
Such a small thing, but it made me wonder; what kind of dad just walks out of a building assuming that his kids will be okay? I usually position myself BEHIND Hannah and Max when we leave a building (something I never thought of until now, I guess to make sure we all get out okay.) Mom brings up the rear.
But even if I walked out first I'd turn to make sure non one got caught in a door, got interested in something else and wandered away, or worse.
Gerry noticed it and chalked it up to the "getting ahead" mentality you see around us on TV and in our culture. Be first, get out ahead, we are number one, he who dies with the most toys wins. A sad type of thinking.
We noticed this guy strolling into another store - once again, not even noticing if his daughters had a hard time with the door
Seriously, what kind of person doesn't turn around as they walk through a door to see if someone else is coming or to make sure it doesn't catch someone else?
The store was called Big Dog and Gerry and I couldn't believe the phrases plastered all over their Tshirts. Here are two shirts that were in the window - two of the least insulting that we saw.
What's the point of being so unnecessarily nasty? I just stay away from writing on T shirts unless it's a school I've attended or knitting related.
Gerry commented that it probably wasn't by accident that this guy went into this store. I wonder if his daughters will be door holders?
ACCOUNT-ABILITY
I felt it might be good to mention again where we are, why we're here, what we're doing, etc. As I said, Gerry's working on a video diary of this whole thing, I'm curious to see how it comes out. There may be a Gerry blog soon - or not. If there is I want it to be a release, not a chore.
When we knew we'd be coming to the Mayo, we drove down to Rochester and looked at several extended stay hotels and other options. Out of everything we saw, Staybridge Suites was by far the best value for the money. If we're here for 30 days it should run roughly $65/day, which is more than a place like Hope Lodge or Transplant House (free or $25/day.)
Folks have asked - in the nicest way - why we're not at the Hope Lodge. We're here at Staybridge Suites mostly for the pet policy - we can have Gigi and eventually Atticus here with us. Also, when the kids are back from NJ we'd like to have them down on weekends to see Dad as much as possible. Those are two things we can't do at Hope Lodge (no pets, no kids!)
On a side note, it was so nice - and a little surreal - to read about a Max sighting in Maplewood NJ!
Our current hotel also has a pool, an exercise room, free laundry and each room has a small kitchenette. We're about 3/4 of a mile from Mayo and twice now we've walked home instead of taking the shuttle. Walking is good - and as Gerry recovers from the transplant - when walking is encouraged - it will be even better to have that as an option.
It was a rough choice, but really - seeing Gerry petting Gigi, seeing Gigi loving Gerry, that's worth so much to both of us. Oh yeah, and the kids.
We're in the cheapest room right now, when Gerry's mom comes we'll move into a 1 BR so she can have her own space.
I mention this because so many folks have been so kind, purchasing the Red Carpet Convertible pattern and helping us out. I was chatting with another person in a similar situation to ours - someone with decent health insurance (for the US) but who needs help with the extra bits (airfare, etc.)
She'd mentioned that although she appreciates help from folks, sometimes it almost feels as though by helping someone becomes a stockholder, and has a say in the financial decisions they make during their family health crisis.
I don't feel this way - well, not entirely - but I do feel a certain accountability to folks who have been so good to us. Thank you!
I feel it's necessary for us to live as well and as frugally as we can, for Gerry to work hard to recover, and for us to do as much as we can to assist his recovery. Gigi is instrumental in that.
Gerry's definitely happier with a cat around.
I appreciate these signs - it will be only a short time until Gerry's undergoing his high-dose chemo, and will be susceptible to all kinds of viruses.
But I woke up with a pretty strong sneezing, coughing, headachy cold this morning - I had a headache as I went to bed, I though it was the thunderstorms - but it's turned into a full flown chest cold. Lots of coughing.
Maybe I picked something up, or maybe it's the stress & smokey room (which is much better now!) but I'm going to take it easy for a day or so. Luckily, there's a 5 day break while we wait for final approval from Gerry's insurance company, so during this time I'll be entirely away from Mayo until Thursday, when Gerry begins getting his growth hormone to create more stem cells.
FREEDOM
Gerry's taking advantage of this by driving over to a grocery store - I think he's relishing just being out alone, something he's not done in weeks, and something everyone needs.
He's feeling better than he has in months, so if he wants to get out and enjoy himself on his own for a bit - all the better!
He walked in while I was writing this - yay - why I should be worried when he's out I don't know. I guess it's a learned behavior that I'll have to break myself of when we're back home and he's getting better and better.
Last night on one of the MM sites he visits a fellow announced that his wife just lost her MM battle after 3 years. It was a somber moment when Gerry told me - and, of course, we asked each other, "Was she taking the drugs I am?", "Did she have a BMT?" But this is, after all is said and done, a very individualistic disease.
So if he wants to run around buying staplers, laundry soap and small tripods (he's creating a video diary of his experience) then bless him. Any small autonomy is good.
WIND
We drove over to Otawanna yesterday to do some shopping, we needed to pick up some hardware stuff, look at ceiling fans (we still hadn't found the right one for our kitchen) and - let's face it - we were going a little stir crazy. We just needed to get out.On the drive the weather was very odd - dark clouds in front of us with lightning flashing - but sunny where we were. The sun seemed to follow us - even when we headed into a brief shower, we were in the sun.
We drove past a wind farm - Gerry'd never seen one before, I'd seen the small one in Pennsylvania last year. When we were in Duluth we saw the huge fan blades and other parts for these - they're absolutely huge. To see so many at a time is a little breathtaking. In Owatanna we also visited the outlet malls - why not? - and I found some linen pants and tops which I'd been looking for on super-duper no-one-wants-us reduction of $12.25 each.
Now I have a pair of linen pants and a top to wear to appointments so I don't look like a tourist at a theme park in shorts & a t shirt. If Mayo's trying so hard to look nice for us, we should return the favor, n'est ce pas?
I haven't bought summer clothes in a long time. With my teaching curtailed this summer there was no need. But I want to look good for Gerry, and I need to get some halfway decent looking stuff for France.
Until Gerry gets his central line put in for the chemo (a direct line into his chest so he won't need repeated needle sticks in his arm), he'll be able to get into the pool and I think it would be VERY good for to build some strength in his bones. Moving around in a more weightless environment. So we picked up a bathing suit that will actually FIT him at Cabela's ($8!) and explored the magic that is a venison cafeteria.
LEARNED BEHAVIOR?
I have always been a 'door holder' - we know who we are. We rush to open a door for someone who needs it, and end up holding it for many, many folks. I don't mind - it gives me something to do and, as I tell the folks who walk by thanking me, now I have a second career. Doormen (people?) can earn good money if they're in a good union.
Very rarely someone neglects to thank me - it's so unusual that it's notable. As we were leaving one shop at the outlet mall yesterday and I held the door open for Gerry, another guy walked through, then another guy, then a third youngish, physically healthy specimen strolled by.
The odd thing was that this guy had two daughters, around 5 or 6, and they followed him out. Perhaps I just seemed like part of the landscape at that point, but not only did he not nod, thank or even acknowledge me, he just assumed I'd hold the door open for his daughters (which, of course, I did!)
Such a small thing, but it made me wonder; what kind of dad just walks out of a building assuming that his kids will be okay? I usually position myself BEHIND Hannah and Max when we leave a building (something I never thought of until now, I guess to make sure we all get out okay.) Mom brings up the rear.
But even if I walked out first I'd turn to make sure non one got caught in a door, got interested in something else and wandered away, or worse.
Gerry noticed it and chalked it up to the "getting ahead" mentality you see around us on TV and in our culture. Be first, get out ahead, we are number one, he who dies with the most toys wins. A sad type of thinking.
We noticed this guy strolling into another store - once again, not even noticing if his daughters had a hard time with the door
Seriously, what kind of person doesn't turn around as they walk through a door to see if someone else is coming or to make sure it doesn't catch someone else?
The store was called Big Dog and Gerry and I couldn't believe the phrases plastered all over their Tshirts. Here are two shirts that were in the window - two of the least insulting that we saw.What's the point of being so unnecessarily nasty? I just stay away from writing on T shirts unless it's a school I've attended or knitting related.
Gerry commented that it probably wasn't by accident that this guy went into this store. I wonder if his daughters will be door holders?
ACCOUNT-ABILITY
I felt it might be good to mention again where we are, why we're here, what we're doing, etc. As I said, Gerry's working on a video diary of this whole thing, I'm curious to see how it comes out. There may be a Gerry blog soon - or not. If there is I want it to be a release, not a chore.
When we knew we'd be coming to the Mayo, we drove down to Rochester and looked at several extended stay hotels and other options. Out of everything we saw, Staybridge Suites was by far the best value for the money. If we're here for 30 days it should run roughly $65/day, which is more than a place like Hope Lodge or Transplant House (free or $25/day.)
Folks have asked - in the nicest way - why we're not at the Hope Lodge. We're here at Staybridge Suites mostly for the pet policy - we can have Gigi and eventually Atticus here with us. Also, when the kids are back from NJ we'd like to have them down on weekends to see Dad as much as possible. Those are two things we can't do at Hope Lodge (no pets, no kids!)
On a side note, it was so nice - and a little surreal - to read about a Max sighting in Maplewood NJ!
Our current hotel also has a pool, an exercise room, free laundry and each room has a small kitchenette. We're about 3/4 of a mile from Mayo and twice now we've walked home instead of taking the shuttle. Walking is good - and as Gerry recovers from the transplant - when walking is encouraged - it will be even better to have that as an option.
It was a rough choice, but really - seeing Gerry petting Gigi, seeing Gigi loving Gerry, that's worth so much to both of us. Oh yeah, and the kids.
We're in the cheapest room right now, when Gerry's mom comes we'll move into a 1 BR so she can have her own space.
I mention this because so many folks have been so kind, purchasing the Red Carpet Convertible pattern and helping us out. I was chatting with another person in a similar situation to ours - someone with decent health insurance (for the US) but who needs help with the extra bits (airfare, etc.)
She'd mentioned that although she appreciates help from folks, sometimes it almost feels as though by helping someone becomes a stockholder, and has a say in the financial decisions they make during their family health crisis.I don't feel this way - well, not entirely - but I do feel a certain accountability to folks who have been so good to us. Thank you!
I feel it's necessary for us to live as well and as frugally as we can, for Gerry to work hard to recover, and for us to do as much as we can to assist his recovery. Gigi is instrumental in that.
Gerry's definitely happier with a cat around.
26 Comments:
I think the hotel you picked is perfect. Animals help us heal and it is important to have both your animals with you. Of course not being able to have your children visit during this time is just not an option!
Glad ya'll found a place that works for both!
I love the giant windmills! There is a single, lonely one in Toronto, but a bit north west of there in Orangeville there are quite a number of them - an actual "farm" of them. I think that they are simple to the point of elegance - truly functional art.
If I had to go to the Mayo clinic without my Buster, I'd be so very sad. I think it's great that Gigi is there :)
Gerry is looking good in the pics, BTW :)
I got my "Romantic Hand Knits" in the mail. I am SO excited! Congrats, the book looks gorgeous!
Gerry looks so much better in recent photos (not that I've ever seen him in real life....just you blog). It's wonderful that there is even a long-term hotel option that allows pets. That the price is so reasonable is amazing. Please know that you and your family continue to be in my thoughts.
Diane
San Jose, CA
Re: your door holding moment. I've got a good one. A few years ago, DH and I were in London. We got off a bus, and the person behind me was an elderly nun carrying all sorts of bags. So, being a nice American, I asked her if she needed some help with her pkgs. Boy, did she yell at me: I don't need any help, thank you very much!! in a most British voice. I meekly crept away. I kind of liked her self-reliance and stiff upper lip.
People who know, know that animals have great restorative powers! Gigi should be by prescription!
In Europe, there are windfarms actually out in the sea--especially the Baltic, near Copenhagen and (I think) the Kiel Canal--it's hard to imagine how huge those windmills are close up, but they are beautiful to look at.
It was a pleasure to meet you in Sarnia, the workshops were terrific!
Pam, London Ontario
My mom had convienced my sister that Livermore, CA didn't have electricity if the windmills all over the hills near that town were not running. Little did she know that eventually my sister would marry somebody who had grown up in that town. It provides for many family laughs.
The pet thing is so important. I have often thought of that myself. What would I do if I got sick, how could I deal with the animals, but how could I not. When my grandma moved into assisted living, one main thing we knew she needed was a place were she could keep her cat.
Summer colds, what a bummer! But if you're up to a day trip, head south along Hwy. 52 to Decorah, IA, About and hour and a half away. My son attended Luther College there and the communities along Hwy. 52 as well as Decorah are fun places to spend some relaxing time. Chatfield, Preston, and Harmony are good stops. Plenty of antique stores, a few galleries, and all things Amish (especially in Harmony). Just outside of Harmony I noticed a sign pointing to:
http://www.austinsmohair.com
wasn't open when I stopped in, so I would call first. In Decorah, besides the college and its art exhibits:
http://luther.edu/
you can visit the studio locations of Story People:
http://www.storypeople.com/storypeople/Home.do?action=MenuJS
become Norwegian for the day:
http://vesterheim.org/index.php
About 10 years ago, when my mom was undergoing long term medical treatment away from home, day trips like this were a lifesaver; a chance to be in a vacation mode rather than a treatment mode.
For other things to do in Rochester you can visit the Olmsted County Historical Center (if you like history). I believe tours of Mayowood (home of one of the original Mayo brothers) originates out of the Olmsted County Historical Center also.
I second the suggestion for Austin Mohair outside of Harmony.
If you haven't found a ceiling fan in the Lowe's, Home Depot, Menards stores then you might want to take a look at Northern Lights in Rochester (it's not a chain). It's not exactly budget but it might be fun to look and get ideas there.
If you need to get out of Rochester again may I suggest traveling NE on Hwy 63 to Lake City (where water skiing was invented) and then travel along the River on Hwy 61 to Wabasha where the new Eagle Center is. There is much prettier scenery along the Mississippi than on the prairie to Owatanna. Wabasha is the town where some of the movie 'Grumpy Old Men' was filmed.
Gerry is looking good. I hope everything continues to go well. at Mayo.
There are lots of windfarms between Berlin and the border with Poland -- a beautiful thing to see if you're driving around northeastern Germany -- as well as in Denmark, as someone else here mentioned.
The book is awesome! Can't decide what I want to make first!
Good luck with the transplant, Gerry!
Yay for being able to have your pets and your KIDS there with you!
Boo! to Big Dog store for the insulting t-shirts whatever happened to non-insulting humor?
All the best to Gerry and Annie I hope you get rid of your cold soon!
I loved reading the comment from the previous day about the Max sighting. I've been sharing bits and pieces of your life with my husband and I KNOW he's gonna get a kick out of that.
Nancy
Gosh, I live so close to the mall you were shopping at on Saturday and am sorry someone was rude to you the door holder.
I've never been to the Big Dogs store there, thanks for reminding me why not.
Hurray for pets! I couldn't imagine life without them.
Oops! I also wanted to say, though the windmill farm at Dodge Center is great, get a look sometime at the windmills between Albert Lea, MN and Mason City, IA. Cool!
sending you good vibes.
susan of the blue moon in lansing
I love the windmill farms near Pincher Creek, AB. First off they appear out of nowhere as you come over the hill and secondly they are Huge! Also Pincher Creek is one of the windiest places I've ever been. All those towns in Southern Alberta the wind howls 'til your ears hurt!
Thinking about you as always and sending warm positive thoughts.
Dear Annie,
Of course I'm feeling sad about what you and Gerry are dealing with, but it makes me laugh that you notice the non-door-holders and worry about their offspring--I think that means that you're both completely committed to the future of the human race (which needs a lot of help from observant, sensible people like you--and me, and all the rest of your extended family of blog-readers), and so of course everything will work out okay for you, because your work on the planet isn't done. Anyway, it feels like that to me. And I'm so glad I found your blog, even though I tuned in at a very bad time for you--I see grace and love and courage in action--a blessing for all of us. Keep your chins up, and give your lovely moggie a pet for me.
Kate
Hi Annie,
yep pets are the greatest and you can see how gigi loves being petted and we're also loving our pets. My dog belongs to the family, we would realy miss her when she wouldn't be here but she is and hopefully many years to come. I think you're very right to take that room and please don't feel like you've to explain. I realy think a lot of you and thank YOU for letting us help ok? :-) I't like ruth said, you offer some help and it's rudely brushed away like that nun was offended by the offer. That's such a shame. So thank you :-)
I don't like those t-shirts also with rudeness...why's that?? I always wonder about those people who wear it. What are they thinking?? That they've the right to be rude?? Well i ignore them and pull up my shoulders and do my own knitty thing and think it's a shame that they "need" this someway.
I'm also a door opener/holder and also sometimes people walk by like it's normal that you're so kind and even don't say a thing or nod or whatever.. I always say then.. "thank you" and loudly enough so they can hear. I know they do and perhaps they think about it next time?? ;-) It doesn't stop me holding the doors and smile to people who do the same and thank them.
I hope your cold is ok now and that gerry doesn't get it.
Take care.
Hugs
Valeria
A Gerry blog would be great!
Thanks for posting the Mayo art today! I'd been wondering if that room was still there. Now, next to the library, just down the hall from the "big" art in today's post, is the orange-ish glass installation still there? My MIL (we were at Mayo's that time for her) recognized the artist from a PBS special she'd seen BEFORE we looked at the wee sign by the piece. Hope your cold goes away quickly!
Hi Annie - Your hotel sounds perfect. Of course, the pets as well as the kids, will help Gerry feel as normal as is possible. I had cancer in 1984 and was given only 2 months to live. I was 42 and considered too OLD to get a BMT!!!
I just returned from Stitches MW and many people were wishing you only the BEST. I talked to Barry Klein and Karin from Skacel and they are going to donate things for your cause! I called Ruth at the We Love Annie shop and she is going to get in touch with a NJ yarn shop that wants to help. SO, there should be great things coming up with Trendsetter and Skacel's help!!!
Remember - Today is a GIFT, that's why it's called the PRESENT
I'm certain they'll have support groups at Mayo. My dh and I didn't think we wanted to attend, but we DID and it was the best thing for us and others that were there. Denny (dh) and I now speak to cancer support groups and we have developed special bonds with those people.
Many hugs and prayers,
Carol in St. Louis
The Vesterheim Museum has a great collection of textiles - worth the trip!
Michele
I tell you what, come into Peds onc clinic and happen to sneeze; the earth will shatter. lol. Last week I had the tiniest of tickles in my nose and out came a sneeze, all eyes were on me and you could hear a pin drop. We have been at this for over two years, I know not to come with a sneeze!
I have seriously thought about wanting to put a shower of purell for guests wanting to enter our house when our daughter is neutropenic.
One day at a time, stay well and get there.
Of course, you need Gigi and Atticus with you! (And how much would boarding them cost anyway? More than the difference between Hope Lodge and the hotel, I bet.)
I think wind farms are beautiful too. They are like huge sculpture installations.
Cate
Annie, you have my continued admiration for holding everything together and keep going, going, going...
I've ordered your "Romantic Knits" book and can't wait to have it in my hands. There are at least five items that I have to make from the book. Warmest wishes to all your family, and yes in spite of everything we always need to look on the positives.
Isn't EVERYONE happier with a cat around? Sounds like you and Gerry have made some excellent choices and I feel wonderful about how you're using my contribution anyway! I'm pulling for you both in every way.
You know, I think it would have taken Keith YEARS longer to recover without our schipperke, Bear around. Glad your pets are with you, AND the kids.
Best of wishes and luck with the treatment. The photos are fabbo. I love your attitude regarding accountability, Annie.
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