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In 1986, when I was 25, I attended Mom's 50th High School Reunion. Spencer High wasn't a big school, Mom knew everyone in her class. They certainly remembered her, and I was told more than once that evening that I looked, "Just like your mother!" It was obvious that night that my Mom was greatly loved.

It was obvious always that my mother was dearly loved.

When it came time that evening to re-read The Class of 1936's Last Will & Testament the lights in the room darkened, the graduation photo of each student was shown as that person's predictions for their life was read.

"I will be President...", "I will be the first man on the moon...", "I will be a famous actress..."

When Mom's picture was flashed on the screen her own prediction was simple, "I want to be a good stenographer."

Mom was a very good stenographer, it was a great point of pride for her that her short hand was easily read by anyone - (anyone who knew short hand.)

Pragmatic modesty was one of Mom's hallmarks. I am proud that Mom was so practical. In her I have a remarkable example of the lesson, "Take care of the small things and the big things will resolve themselves."

Mom never went to college, I believe that was a great regret in her life. But if she had, I feel certain that she would have become a teacher, like her own mother, Anna Laura Wolfe Williams. Mom taught me - taught all of us - so many lessons, directly and indirectly; through her words and also through her actions.

Mom's practical nature and her ability to do whatever was required to finish a job stood her in good stead throughout her life. Nothing was given to her, she worked hard for everything, but she appreciated it all, the good and the no-so-good, with deep gratitude.

Another lesson - "Be grateful for everything you have!"

Mom was the hardest working person I've ever known, steady and constant without a lot of fanfare, she'd get done what she needed to - and she LOVED being appreciated for her work. She taught both my brother and myself that having good, "innerstin" work was a joy.

The lesson here, "There is nothing worse than being bored!"

She bobbed along even in the worst of times, working hard and keeping as positive an outlook as anyone could, wanting no more than to make a good life and to be given an occasional pat on the back - which she would give herself if no one else was around to do it!

That was another tremendous lesson, "Be your own best fan and you'll never be without a cheering section!"

After high school Mom spent a few years working at the Viscos Factory in Parkersburg, supporting her mother, sister and younger brother on a tiny salary. This past week I've been looking over her daily diary for that period - Mom noted on each payday how much she earned, how much she spent and how many hours she'd worked. Sometimes a dress or hat on layaway would be recorded, too.

Yet another lesson, "Live on what you earn, and pay your own way!"

Hand in hand with her practicality was an amazing sense of humor. Mom was one of the funniest people I've ever known. With a cryptic remark, a nod of her head, a roll of her eye she could turn a serious situation into a giddy party - she was a tremendous physical comedienne with impeccable timing. It was hard not to laugh around her.

In the short time the aides at the nursing home in Rowlett knew her, each of them said to me at some point, 'You Mom is FUNNY!" Mom's sense of humor humanized her suffering, made it more acceptable for herself and everyone around her to look at it and deal with it.

This is one of my favorite of Mabel's lessons, "Find a way to laugh, no matter what has befallen you..."

Mom was practical, but she fell in love with someone who was quite the opposite. To Mom, Dad was rather glamorous, remote and almost unattainable. She patiently waited through his first marriage and a World War to finally become Mrs. James Modesitt.

In the past few days I've been re-reading many of Mom & Dad's old letters to each other and it reinforces just how much Mom adored my father - he truly was the light of her life and, as she told me on many occasions, 'I just worshipped your father!" She was as proud of finally "snagging"' Jim Modesitt with her fried chicken and million dollar cake as she was of anything.

A funny - perhaps apocryphal - story she used to tell about how they became engaged was that she and Dad were sitting on a swing on her front porch after he'd returned from the war. Drowsing off, he said as he was almost asleep, "Mary... Mary..." Mom shook him, "MARY WHO?" "Uh, um, marry me and make me the happiest man in the world!"

I never quite believed that, but it sounds as thought it may have been more truth than poetry. Who knows - it's hard to tell when a story involves Jim Modesitt whether it's entirely factual. Perhaps that was one of the things that Mom so loved about him - his sense of mystery. He was the opposite of her in many ways.

But they worked well together and were married for 23 years before he passed away in 1978. This was the lowest phase of her life. The first 13 years of their marriage they were childless, and I know that Mom was afraid she'd never have kids. Finally when she was 39 she gave birth to my brother, and I came along several years later when Mom was 42. In fact, right now I am the same age my mother was when I was born.

The lesson I glean from this phase of her life is, "Accept what you get when you get it, don't waste time worrying about things happening in 'the right time'!"

After Dad died - and a bit before - finances were very tough. But in typical Mabel Modesitt fashion, she not only supported our family, but turned her job, which she had begun as a delivery person, into a sales and management career which anyone would be proud of. She worked up to Telephone Sales Room Manager, then to district manager, and finally was in a position to have herself transferred to Texas when my brother settled in Dallas so she could be with him.

The lesson I take out of this phase of her life is, "Learn from your setbacks, let them make you stronger, and move ahead."

The one lesson I didn't learn from my mother was "Marry a tall man." When I called to tell Mom that I'd met someone and we were in love she was thrilled. When I told her we were living together she was less than thrilled, but was mollified when I explained that we were engaged and had set a date.

When I told Mom that Gerry was Jewish she surprised me by saying, 'Well, honey, you wouldn't be the first·" The only time during that phone conversation when Mom was speechless was when I told her that Gerry was a bit shorter than I. There was a pause, then she said, 'Oh, honey. Oh - Oh, honey - are you sure you love him?" Mom believed it was just as easy to marry a tall man as a short man. However, when Mom met Gerry she loved him immediately. We used to joke that if we every got divorced Mom would get custody of him.

Mom spent her last years living with Jim and his wife, Karen, and most recently their new son, Alex. This was a very happy time in Mom's life, and she so enjoyed running around Dallas with Karen, going to dinner with 'her kids' being part of their family. She was very proud of Alex, and proud of Jim and Karen for becoming his parents.

An extra bonus was that along with Karen came her Aunt Thelma. I will be eternally grateful to Thelma for the love and attention she showed to Mom, especially in the last few years when it was difficult for Mom to get around without a partner in crime. Mom and Thelma - and Mom's dear friend Ruth Clark - made getting old seem like a lot more fun that it should be. I hope I am as lucky when I grow old to have good friends like these.

The lesson Mom taught in this part of her life is the same that I teach my Brownie girl scouts, 'Make new friends, but keep the old - one is silver and the other's gold!"

It was always a great source of pride and pleasure for me that Mom had so many 'adopted' daughters to love - all of them her 'favorites" - Jan, Karen, Patsy, Mary Lou, and her nephews Carl & Russ. She had unlimited love, I was glad that there were so many outlets for her caring heart.

Very dear to her heart was her nephew Tommy, who the world knew as Wade. She loved him so deeply - and even as a child I understood that although Jim and I were her children, Tommy held a very special place in her heart that no one else could ever fill. When Tommy died 2 years ago Mom lost a great deal of her spark, and when my brother Jim passed away this Fall, I knew in my heart that it was only a matter of time before Mom would be back with so many friends and family members who have gone before her.

Mom had so much love to give - there was never an end to the source of her love. She loved Karen dearly, she has always loved Jan as a daughter (I agree with Grandma that our mothers switched us at birth because Jan is so much like Mom, and I am rather like Aunt Wanda) I have always felt that Jan was more of an older sister - and I know Mom thought of her as a daughter - than cousin and niece.

Jan has a very special place in Mom's heart - both as the daughter of Mom's very beloved sister, Wanda, and just as an :old fart" who was fun to run around with. Wanda, Jan and Mom went all over the world together, and had such a wonderful time. I will always be grateful to Aunt Wanda and to Jan for including Mom on their many trips after Dad had died - bringing back some of the joy into her life!

Mom waited quite a while for grand kids, but when Hannah was finally born she was over the moon! Hannah is so much like her grandmother - she amazes me every day with her competence, her ability to do anything she sets her mind to - just like Mom.

Mom doted on Max - she felt he was so much like her dear brother, Jim Bob (whose real name was Max Hurl) in his voice and mannerisms. The arrival of Alex a few years ago was just icing on the cake - Mom was very proud of her family, and we are very proud of her.

I regret that Hannah and Max will not be able to spend more time getting to know the magnificent woman who was their Grandmother.

I am so proud that my mother was able, time and time again, to take virtually nothing and make a life - a life to be proud of.

Mabel Anna Williams Modesitt was an amazing woman, I am very proud that she is my mother.