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James Charles Modesitt

Posted on September 11, 2005 by Annie

I woke up bawling this morning.

The radio was on and I was half asleep. I heard a reading by Willa Cather about losing a sibling, then as I eased into consciousness I became aware that this year siblings are reading the names of the fallen at the 9/11 commemoration.

And of course, I thought of my brother. He didn’t die in 9/11 – he died of a heart attack in Dallas 2 years ago this month. Who could believe it was 2 years ago.

We all miss him very much. And I also feel that he’s with me when I really need him.

Today the kids and I are going into the city – we’ll go to the park, ride the carousel (if it’s still running), visit the zoo – then go pick up Gerry who has to work today. It seems very fitting to this former Manhattanite to spend the anniversary of 9/11 enjoying the best of the city (which for me was always the park! LOVE that park!)

I used to live right off the park on West 85th street. My apartment was smaller than my living room is now, but I loved it! It was where I had my first cat (I couldn’t have cats growing up because my brother was allergic – we found that out when we got a beautiful Siamese then had to find a new home for him) That apartment was also where I lived when I learned how to knit. No wonder I love the West Side and the park so much – all those happy memories rolled into one beautiful location.

There was a mimosa tree in front of my building – I’d never seen one before – and the sensual smell of the wildly feminine flowers absolutely amazed me. We planted a mimosa in our front yard two years ago – it’s HUGE now (they grow fast) and with any luck we’ll have some flowers next year.

Burn, baby, burn!

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