Two weeks ago I got some bad news, which I shared with a few close friends and mainly tried to ignore.
Basically I was told that the chemo my oncologist had put so much stock in wasn’t working, and we were down to one last-ditch chemo treatment. I won’t go into the details, but my hopes weren’t very high.
I was in the hospital for a week starting the new chemo, which I’ve continued in pill form since then. And every day I seem to be feeling a bit better and better. That was unexpected!
I won’t know if the new chemo’s really doing something good for me until I have another bone marrow biopsy so they can quantify my progress. But things feel better, I feel stronger (although not really very strong…) and I’m feeling less dizzy, nauseous and unfocused through the day.
I’m still tired so much of the day, walking farther than 20′-50′ is impossible without my walker, but I am able to use a cane for short amounts now. This whole cancer trip has so many steps backwards, I may as well be dancing! I still have yet to ride that tricycle that I bought myself in the Spring (at this point I have to refill the tires) but I’m hopeful that my new, improved chemo may lead to enough strength and resilience that I may be able to ride later this Fall. Or next Spring.
In two days I turn 59, which is older than many of my family members were able to make, but I’m definitely feeling like a celebration! I’ve ordered a cake from Ben & Jerry’s, I intend to wear a party hat to my chemo / infusion / lab draws on Thursday, and I also intend to grab onto every single birthday I’m fortunate enough to have from this point onward.
I want to live long enough to see grandchildren, to be able to travel again (thanks, Covid…) and to RIDE MY TRICYCLE. Today I’ll be happy writing my blog, making myself tuna salad for lunch and watching TV. I guess we tailor life to suit our current strength, I’m hoping that my own strength continues to grow!
…and I’ve started on a unisex sweater designated for grandchildren I have yet to meet, I’m enjoying the project quite a bit!
Hold onto that great attitude – it will surely serve you well. Keeping you in my thoughts.
ANNIE, so good to hear from you. You are a warrior. I’m praying and hoping this new chemo works. You need the joy of grandchildren.
I’m so happy to hear that you’re feeling a little better. I hope you’re able to take the tricycle out for a spin this fall!
Love to you, the kids, and the pets from me and Linus!
You are so very brave and adventurous! Even in the darkest of times, you manage to keep yourself going forward. You are an inspiration to many of us who care greatly about you.
Stay strong Annie and keep looking forward….You can do this!!!
Happy Birthday and enjoy your cake
Thanks for the comment about my Grandson Cameron. I did a lot of baby knitting years before I ever got a Grandchild, mostly pink things. Now that I have 2 Grandsons, I have to be more practical. Making a chemo hat for my oldest sister, just started chemo and radiation. My middle sister is going in for a carotid angioplasty on Wednesday, her second. 3 more family members with cancer. It must be a trend? I hope you and all of them feel better and healthy soon.
Hang in there, Annie! Here’s to trike rides!
Annie,
So thrilled to hear that you’re feeling better and somewhat stronger!
May these trends continue and increase!!!
Love,
Tony & Bob
Stronger is good; no, great! Hang onto every happy thing.
Glad you’re starting to feel stronger! Hang in there!
Happy birthday! You should ALWAYS have cake!
Happy birthday !!! So glad you have energy … but importantly, what flavor ice cream cake … I am dieting so I need to know … enjoy your ‘Official” Day … but know that if I could I would make every day good for you.
That is amazing news! Feeling that much better has to be a good thing! Yay for good news!
You are being an example to many……I have a card someone sent me when I was recovering from my stem cell transplant, it says “Move Forward Every Day!” I look at it everyday!!!! Enjoy your Birthday!!!
Do not know how you do it, but I love your attitude! Hang in there Annie!
Keep dancing, baby. Keep dancing.
I am always so moved when I read your musings. Each and every one of us will experience our health ebbing and flowing as we age and we will fight tooth and nail just as you have. You are so inspiring to many struggling with health issues or just life’s turbulence. I wish you a very happy 59th birthday! I try to ignore my birthdays, just turning 61, but after reading this, I have changed my attitude about birthday celebrations. It truly is a time to be thankful for the next day, month, and year. May you have many, many years ahead of you in good health and happiness!
Don’t hide! You have a wonderful community that cares about you and can give you cheer. In two weeks I’ll be two years older than you, Cheers!
I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve been worried when I saw you didn’t post. Sending love and positive thoughts. Love up your kids and friends and take care.
Happy Birthday Annette!
You’ve shown such amazing strength and resiliency, and you certainly deserve to be feeling better! As long as you have hope, I’m sure things will work out for you.
And, I can’t wait to see that new design.
Annie, I’m so glad the new chemo makes you feel better. I hope you keep feeling better and better.
The last two trial drugs I tried I was on: the first for 4 years before the side effects became unbearable. The second trial drug I only lasted 4 months, before the daily headaches and stiff neck got me. There’ll always be new chemo drugs to try. They’re discovering new ones every month, my oncologist says.
And now my daughter has the same cancer I, my aunt and my mother had. I just wish my mother and my aunt had been able to take all the drugs we have available now.
So take heart and continue making progress.
I am sorry you heard that news from your doctor. Positive attitudes though are remarkable in the healing of a body. My grandmother had cancer when she turned 50 and determined that she was not going to let it get in her way to live life to the fullest. Long story short: she lived until she was 86 and had a wonderful life. So I will pray for the same for you so you can greet each day with hope and good cheer.
Keep dancing and please eat the whole cake and some more! you are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so sorry you will not be here anymore Annie. I have always loved your writing, and both your strength and vulnerability have been a privilege to experience. I will miss you. Love to your family…
I have so many memories from following your blog years ago. May the Lord bless you and keep you. You will be missed.