I’m feeling as if I should get an apartment here at Minneapolis/St. Paul airport. I love it here – I can get a haircut, dinner, buy a computer or an i-pod, clothe myself and my family and I think I can get glasses. I could be wrong about that last one.
Now I’m settling in for my pre-flight salad, a little reorganizing of the carry on bag, and some calming breathing before I board for my flight to JFK.
Gerry had a hard time getting out of bed today – he has great pain in his hips and lower back – and I could tell he was sad that I’d be gone. Guilt-wise, this is the hardest part of the trip – while I’m still in town, but “gone,” and I think I miss everyone the most right at this point.
Gerry’s written for more info on a few drug and treatment trials he found at the Multiple Myeloma Research Fund website. I can tell he’s feeling antsy – on edge – and doesn’t like feeling that adopting a ‘wait and see’ attitude is the best we can do.
Basically we’ve been told to go home, have a good life and wait for the cancer to come back. At first we were both just so happy that he’s still here (when, a year ago, we quite frankly didn’t know if he’d still be around…) that it sounded like a good plan. But now Gerry seems to want to move toward a more pro-active place, and that’s fine with me!
I’d rather go down fighting than give in easy! But that’s often been a problem for me, too…
So we’re interested to hear back from these trials – to hear if Gerry’s good for any of them, and what sort of new protocol it might involve. We try to be as open, honest, and at the same time retain a sense of humor about this whole nutty situation. I say nutty because I don’t want to use another word that starts with an s.
We were having lunch yesterday at the Louisiana Cafe, reading our respective newspapers, and I noticed a LOT of stuff going on in the next few weeks. Without looking up I said, “You know, Gerry – there’s SO much to DO around here!”
He replied dryly, “Funny, I’m not seeing that…” I looked up – he was reading the obit page. We both read that more than we ever have before.
It was funny, and bitter – and then we went to the YWCA and got a family membership so that he can swim and get into the whirlpool (and have a place to take the kids on the long weekend days) and we all felt better. Yay, pools!
Folks are getting ready to board, and I purchased an extra-special EXIT ROW seat (I’m happy to pay the extra $20 if I don’t have to “kneel” against the seat in front of me for the whole trip!) so I’m in the first group to board. I think they want to make sure we in the Exit row can all walk.
Tonight I see friends I’ve not seen in a year, and I will cry like a baby.