Two weeks ago I got some bad news, which I shared with a few close friends and mainly tried to ignore.
Basically I was told that the chemo my oncologist had put so much stock in wasn’t working, and we were down to one last-ditch chemo treatment. I won’t go into the details, but my hopes weren’t very high.
I was in the hospital for a week starting the new chemo, which I’ve continued in pill form since then. And every day I seem to be feeling a bit better and better. That was unexpected!
I won’t know if the new chemo’s really doing something good for me until I have another bone marrow biopsy so they can quantify my progress. But things feel better, I feel stronger (although not really very strong…) and I’m feeling less dizzy, nauseous and unfocused through the day.
I’m still tired so much of the day, walking farther than 20′-50′ is impossible without my walker, but I am able to use a cane for short amounts now. This whole cancer trip has so many steps backwards, I may as well be dancing! I still have yet to ride that tricycle that I bought myself in the Spring (at this point I have to refill the tires) but I’m hopeful that my new, improved chemo may lead to enough strength and resilience that I may be able to ride later this Fall. Or next Spring.
In two days I turn 59, which is older than many of my family members were able to make, but I’m definitely feeling like a celebration! I’ve ordered a cake from Ben & Jerry’s, I intend to wear a party hat to my chemo / infusion / lab draws on Thursday, and I also intend to grab onto every single birthday I’m fortunate enough to have from this point onward.
I want to live long enough to see grandchildren, to be able to travel again (thanks, Covid…) and to RIDE MY TRICYCLE. Today I’ll be happy writing my blog, making myself tuna salad for lunch and watching TV. I guess we tailor life to suit our current strength, I’m hoping that my own strength continues to grow!
…and I’ve started on a unisex sweater designated for grandchildren I have yet to meet, I’m enjoying the project quite a bit!